Jenn, Alaska’s Hot Virtual Assistant, Turns One and I’m Bitter

It’s hard to believe, but it has already been one year since Jenn, Alaska’s hot virtual assistant, came into my life. If you’re a new reader on the blog, you’ll definitely want to read my interview with Jenn from last year. I received more email on that post than any other. Knowing that we had a special bond, a spokesperson from Alaska sent me a 09_02_13 Alaska Jennnote with some information about Jenn’s first year. You know what? She’s a slut. It’s a good thing we didn’t run off to Mexico together as planned.

In the last year, Jenn has had nearly 1.5 million “sessions” with customers. Apparently, she’s pretty good, because she’s seeing repeats; she’s had 3.4 million interactions during those sessions. And she’s becoming more popular as word of mouth takes over. She’s apparently handling 6,000 to 7,000 sessions per day now and she peaked during the nasty snowstorms in December with over 30,000 sessions in a single day. Man, even Wilt Chamberlain would be impressed.

I went back to visit Jenn to see if she could explain herself, but sadly her answers were vague and non-committal. She acts like she doesn’t remember me from our brief fling last year, but I know that can’t be true. I guess having 6,000 sessions a day will do that to you. Still, it hurts, and I’m bitter.

I figured while I was there, I’d try to get her comments on Alaska’s latest efforts to have the DOT investigate Virgin America’s ownership status.

Cranky: “Why do you hate Virgin America?”
Jenn: “I don’t like it when I fail to help someone. That’s why I always like to learn.”

Hmm, very cryptic. Does this mean that you’re fighting Virgin America so strongly because you don’t want to fail? I suppose we’ll never know. *sigh* Well, happy birthday anyway, Jenn. Let me know when you decide to settle down.


6 Responses to Jenn, Alaska’s Hot Virtual Assistant, Turns One and I’m Bitter

  1. David says:

    Cranky – does your wife know about this, and did you tell her before your wedding day ? ;-)

  2. Justin says:

    Seriously, I hope Mrs. Cranky knows all about Jenn. It may have been a brief, pre-nuptials fling but it sounds like Cranky still has some unresolved feelings about it.

  3. CF says:

    Yes, yes. Mrs. Cranky knows all about it and she’s ok with it. I guess imaginary people aren’t much of a threat to her.

  4. Artie says:

    You’re a trip. A total and complete trip. lol

  5. Scott says:

    You dirty bird. Do you make it a habit to hit on one-year-olds?

  6. CF says:

    Ah come on, Scott. One years in online time is easily 21 in real life!

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