It’s certainly a coincidence that the winner of the signed Southwest timetable is none other than Robert Stack, the author of the True Meaning of Thanksgiving. Robert by far had the most comprehensive entry, and in fact took many photos of timetables, airplanes, and a little alcohol. I think this is probably my favorite:
Yep, that’s Robert drinking a bottle of Herb Kelleher’s favorite, Wild Turkey. He has the page turned to Phoenix flights, and yes, that is the current US Airways and former America West headquarters in the background. I’m going to assume that it’s the epic battle between those two airlines over the years that has caused Robert to finish the bottle.
So, congratulations, Robert. The timetable is yours. And now, I’m happy to present this year’s version of the True Meaning of Thanksgiving.
It is time to set aside the iPhones, Droids, Blackberries, Crunch Berries, netbooks, wiis, and other gadgets of the day to reflect upon this glorious time of year. For Thanksgiving is nearly upon us, and the airport eagerly awaits your arrival. For the True Meaning of Thanksgiving shines forth for those who wish to see:
Thanksgiving is not a time to give thanks.
Thanksgiving is a time to get bumped.
For while most find crowds, lines, waits, and little cheer in their holiday travels, a Silver Liner awaits for those who arrive prepared. The airlines know that some don’t show up for their flights, so when things get busy there are more bookings than seats. And often enough, most everyone will show up; then the luckiest get stopped in place with a bump. Those in the know then smile, for they know that a true Thanksgiving meal will patiently wait until Friday. For Thanksgiving Day is reserved for arriving nice and late, bumped and laden with vouchers.
Things are calmer now than they were before. Oil prices are no longer spurting over new horizons, so airlines are not falling like dominoes. The economy is crawling up the other side of the cliff and the vertigo that was raging a year ago is abating. The furious fee frenzy finds the feeless flyer feeling fine and flying freely. Fee fads flourish; the new fees focused for flying for the holidays just help to highlight the finest days for winning the riches of the bump.
So follow the leaders who find their true selves at Phoenix Sky Harbor, the Hub of Riches, in the spirit of America West Airlines, the all time stuffingest of the airlines of yore. Thanksgiving will find me flying the feeless fleet, for they have been filling their planes more furiously than in years gone by. So I share sweet dreams of a new generation of riches awaiting at every gate.
May your vouchers beget more vouchers with the finest of chain rebumpings,
Links to The True Meaning of Thanksgiving, years past:
I’m taking the rest of the week off to spend time with the family. I hope all my US readers have a happy Thanksgiving. See you back here again on Monday.