It’s certainly a coincidence that the winner of the signed Southwest timetable is none other than Robert Stack, the author of the True Meaning of Thanksgiving. Robert by far had the most comprehensive entry, and in fact took many photos of timetables, airplanes, and a little alcohol. I think this is probably my favorite:

Yep, that’s Robert drinking a bottle of Herb Kelleher’s favorite, Wild Turkey. He has the page turned to Phoenix flights, and yes, that is the current US Airways and former America West headquarters in the background. I’m going to assume that it’s the epic battle between those two airlines over the years that has caused Robert to finish the bottle.

So, congratulations, Robert. The timetable is yours. And now, I’m happy to present this year’s version of the True Meaning of Thanksgiving.

Dear traveler,

It is time to set aside the iPhones, Droids, Blackberries, Crunch Berries, netbooks, wiis, and other gadgets of the day to reflect upon this glorious time of year. For Thanksgiving is nearly upon us, and the airport eagerly awaits your arrival. For the True Meaning of Thanksgiving shines forth for those who wish to see:

Thanksgiving is not a time to give thanks.

Thanksgiving is a time to get bumped.

For while most find crowds, lines, waits, and little cheer in their holiday travels, a Silver Liner awaits for those who arrive prepared. The airlines know that some don’t show up for their flights, so when things get busy there are more bookings than seats. And often enough, most everyone will show up; then the luckiest get stopped in place with a bump. Those in the know then smile, for they know that a true Thanksgiving meal will patiently wait until Friday. For Thanksgiving Day is reserved for arriving nice and late, bumped and laden with vouchers.

Things are calmer now than they were before. Oil prices are no longer spurting over new horizons, so airlines are not falling like dominoes. The economy is crawling up the other side of the cliff and the vertigo that was raging a year ago is abating. The furious fee frenzy finds the feeless flyer feeling fine and flying freely. Fee fads flourish; the new fees focused for flying for the holidays just help to highlight the finest days for winning the riches of the bump.

So follow the leaders who find their true selves at Phoenix Sky Harbor, the Hub of Riches, in the spirit of America West Airlines, the all time stuffingest of the airlines of yore. Thanksgiving will find me flying the feeless fleet, for they have been filling their planes more furiously than in years gone by. So I share sweet dreams of a new generation of riches awaiting at every gate.

May your vouchers beget more vouchers with the finest of chain rebumpings,

..robert

Links to The True Meaning of Thanksgiving, years past:

http://www.rstack.com/thanksgiving/thanksgiving.html

I’m taking the rest of the week off to spend time with the family. I hope all my US readers have a happy Thanksgiving. See you back here again on Monday.

Air Canada has long been the leader in finding things to sell that were not previously offered at all, and it appears they’ve done it again. Now, you can earn some cash by volunteering in advance to be bumped if they need your seat closer to departure. I like the idea a lot, but I do have to wonder if the execution could have been done better.

Unfortunately, it’s not a very straightforward process. Air Canada says that to take advantage of the opportunity, you have to go to the Optiontown website. Apparently, they’re the ones taking the risk here. Once there, you put in your confirmation number and last name and they prepare your offer.

Only parties of 1 or 2 people traveling on Tango or Tango Plus (the cheapest) fares are eligible on flights within Canada or between Canada and the US. Even those people may not be offered the option on every flight. When you enter your information, you get to decide how flexible you are. If you give them a wider range of availability (up to three days), you can earn more than if you just have a few hours of leeway. Once you pick your time range, they give you specific flights within that range from which to choose. At that point, you pick the actual flight that you would be willing to take as an alternate to your original, if they need you.

Finally, you get to choose how far in advance you need to know your plans, either 2 or 4 days prior to departure. If you give them 2 days, they’ll pay you more than if you need 4 days. More flexibility means more money for you.

So how much can you get? They’ll give you up to $7 (USD or CAD) just for signing up. Then if they actually opt to switch you to the new flight, they’ll give you up to $50 more each way. It’s not as much as you could get if you were bumped at the airport, but that makes sense. They’re giving you much more advance notice and they even let you pick your alternative.

This seems like a win-win to me. For Air Canada, they can gain flexibility. If they want to overbook as the flight gets closer, they know how many options they have to move people around. And it will ultimately cost them less to bump people in both monetary and emotional costs. For passengers, they can earn a little extra cash and pick the flight to which they’d want to switch.

My only complaint is that it’s a very complicated system, and you won’t know how much you could make until you actually go through the motions of signing up. That’s a lot of hassle for something that you may not opt to accept if the payment isn’t high enough. But still, it’s better than nothing. Let me know if anyone has the chance to give it a try.

Greetings, turkey lovers. It’s Thanksgiving here in the US, and this year is a different one for me. My wife and I decided we’d had enough traveling this year, so we’re not moving . . . unless our Tur-Duc-Hen (a new effort this year) explodes and we have to run. But that doesn’t mean that it won’t be the weekend of opportunity for those of you who take to the air. Once again, I have my friend Robert’s ode to a Thanksgiving tradition. Good luck to you all!

Dear traveler,

It has been a wild ride these days in so many ways, and we are all well due for a moment of reflection upon the True Meaning of Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving is not a time to give thanks.

Thanksgiving is a time to get bumped.

Little is sedate lately in the world of airline travel. First we had the relentless oil price rise which ended some long storied airlines and threatened to ground more and more of us. Then there was the fast and furious fee float, with frequent fees to pay fees and one lone fee free fleet. Then came the dizzying drop in most everything, taking oil prices down with it. Now, we tired and cranky fliers anxiously wait to see where all this uncertainty is headed–up, or down? Big changes, or small?

We have never needed Thanksgiving more than we do now. For while there is so much uncertainty in everything around us, one principle remains crystal clear: a mass migration is solidly strapped to the Thanksgiving calendar, and great opportunities flow forth for those who keep the faith. This year, the migration may be a touch less mass–our wallets are slimmer, and some will succumb to the heretical idea of just staying home. But the airlines have more than made up for this by trimming their flights. Fewer flights and smaller planes point to a smoother yet more packed Thanksgiving; this is a perfect recipe for bump prizes to start leaking, then flowing, and then gushing from gate podiums.

I continue my sad little slide into Thanksgiving mediocrity. Two mere nonstop flights means that I have squandered my chance to regain some Thanksgiving glory. For lately I have scored only at less predictable times of year–New Years, Spring Break, and the like. I suppose I can hope for a little LUV voucher, but deep down I know that the better bumps go to those who squeeze the most hops into their Thanksgiving travels. And the very best bumps go to those who sweep through the US Airways Hub of Riches at Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport. For at US Airways, the memories are short: those who watch the dollars flow in quickly forget the riches that gush right back out into the arms of those lying in wait. For the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow is an illusion; but the stacks of vouchers that line every terminal are real, and they eagerly await your taking.

May your Thanksgiving be the most bountiful yet,

..robert

Links to The True Meaning of Thanksgiving, years past:

http://www.rstack.com/thanksgiving/thanksgiving.html

I know this happened last week, but I haven’t had the chance to write about it until now. The DOT announced that it was going to increase the compensation for passengers who are involuntarily denied boarding. Is this a big deal? Well it could be. It certainly won’t make Robert Stack and the other volunteer bumpees happy, because they’ll probably have fewer chances.

First of all, let me explain exactly what’s happening here. In the fourth quarter of last year, out of 138 million passengers, there were about 125,000 that were denied boarding (pdf – page 33). Of those, nearly 114,000 were voluntarily denied boarding. In other words, the flight was oversold, the airline offered compensation in exchange for someone taking a later flight, and it was a done deal. People who take advantage of that won’t see more money in their pocket.

It’s the slightly more than 11,000 people who were involuntarily denied boarding who will get more. Those people wanted to be on that flight, but the airline couldn’t get enough volunteers. So, they had to deny boarding to someone who wanted to be on that flight. In the past, these people received the remaining value of their ticket to their next stopover with a cap of $200 if they arrived at their destination within 2 hours (4 hours internationally) of their original arrival time. If it’s later than that, passengers were entitled to double the value of what remains on their ticket to the next stopover with a cap of $400. Those caps will now become $400 and $800. Also, the number of seats on planes covered by this rule was reduced from 60 to 30. I had no idea it was 60 before. I’ve seen plenty of 50-seaters go out while still paying the usual compensation, so I’m not sure if this will make much of a difference practically.

So will this matter? If you love volunteering, it probably will reduce your chances. Airlines consider the expected cost of a denied boarding in their overbooking decisions. Now that the cost has gone up, the willingness to overbook will go down. So, those who love getting bumped won’t be happy. On the other hand, the .008% of people who have had the terrible frustration of being bumped involuntarily will be happy-ish to receive more money. I say happy-ish because they won’t actually get to their destination any faster.

Ultimately, this is just a way to discourage the airlines from overbooking. It may work, but it will end up reducing revenues for the airlines. You can expect to see more fare increases to help cover the costs.

Edited @ 1149a on Apr 23: Changed compensation to note that the dollar amounts are caps, but the compensation is based on the value of the ticket.

Once again, we’re at the beginning of the busiest travel period of the year. It’s a time for stuffing yourself silly and watching lots of football. It’s also that time to get stuck in long security lines, bad weather, and to celebrate the tradition of being stranded in the airport, as documented by The Onion here:

And from the looks of the weather map, it’s not going to be an easy week for air travelers. But let’s not focus on the negative. Instead, as we do every year, let’s focus on the True Meaning of Thanksgiving as told once again by my friend, Robert Stack.

Dear traveler,

It is time to put aside our worldly trappings of modern air travel–the gold cards, embossed luggage tags, noise reducing headsets, and tiny bottles of hotel shampoo and conditioner–to pay homage to the True Meaning of Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving is not a time to give thanks.

Thanksgiving is a time to get bumped.

The holidays are always a challenging time for those who want to be on their way. And in olden days, these times were indeed challenging, but they were short. The Wednesday before, the Sunday after; other days would be easy and mellow. But now, the travel challenge of the holidays persists throughout the year. Blizzards on New Years Day. Ice storms on Valentine’s Day. Nor’easters on President’s Day. Thunderstorms on Memorial Day, Labor Day, and every Day in between.

The best laid plans cloud the future for the bumpee. Some have threatened to overbook less so that stranded people may be on their way within hours instead of days. Some still cling to the quaint idea that there shall be no overbooking; for these errant ways, punishment has been handed down from the skies on Valentine’s Day. The ever meddling government wants to ratchet up the bonus for the unknowingly lucky, the forced bumpee. While this would ease the pain for these cranky people, it can only be bad for the devotee. For while more money always sounds nice, the airlines, smart critters that they are, will learn to overbook less. And less overbooking always means less fun.

But do not lose heart. All misguided plans go awry sometime, and with any luck, sometime may smile upon you. The skies may clear, the planes may zip in and out, and then the smoothness of it all will lure people back to the airports, to squeeze all at once onto too few seats for too many people. As for me, I am ever less worthy to hold the mantle of a Grand Bumpee. This year I sank to a new low: I passed on a Bump. Never mind that I was already forty hours late after three more bumps; never mind that I slept only a tiny fraction of these forty hours. What counts is that I passed, which means that I failed. And that is a source of shame, for which I must be punished. And my punishment has yet to be revealed, but I fear it may involve a connection in New York.

With endless airport wait wishes,

..robert

–
Links to The True Meaning of Thanksgiving, years past:
http://www.rstack.com/thanksgiving/thanksgiving.html

And with that, I’m off to see the family for the weekend. I wasn’t planning on writing again until Monday, but I’ll have plenty of downtime so I may be back online earlier than that. Happy Thanksgiving to all my American readers.