Enter to Win an iPod Nano with a Six Word Summary on the TSA Liquid Ban

Admin, Government Regulation, Safety/Security

Raise your hand if you’re ready to enter Cranky’s first contest. Ok, put your hands down now. I can’t see them anyway. (By the way, if you’re a new Cranky visitor, welcome! Please throw some comments out there, and sign yourself up for my daily email.)

I’m very happy to be teaming up with BottleWise to celebrate (curse?) the upcoming 2nd anniversary of the TSA liquid ban. We might as well try to have some fun with it, despite how No Liquids Allowedmuch we hate it.

You want details? I got details. You have from right now until 9p Pacific Time on August 15 to come up with your best six word summary about the liquid ban. Just come up with your best entry (actually, as many entries as you’d like, but you can only win one prize) and enter it in the comments section below. Once the contest is over, we’ll pick the winners and let you know right here on the blog. The big winner will get a 4GB iPod Nano® while the three runners-up will each get a BottleWise Duo™ wine travel bag.

Why six words? Legend has it Ernest Hemingway responded to a challenge to write a six-word story with what he said was his best work: “For sale: baby shoes. Never used.” Here’s my best shot so far, though sadly I can’t pick myself as the winner.

“Ziplocs make for neglected toiletry bags”

Now it’s your turn.

¡Buena suerte! (That’s “good luck” for those who are Spanish-ly challenged.) Leave your responses in the comments section below.

Terms and Conditions

Contest open only to legal residents of the 50 United States and Washington, D.C., 21 years or older at time of entry. There is no purchase necessary to enter or to win, nor is there any cost to register. This is an online-only contest. The Contestant is deemed to be the holder of the established email account associated with the entry. BottleWise LLC and The Cranky Flier reserve the right to reject and disqualify any submissions which, in their sole discretion, are deemed to be offensive or in any way inappropriate. BottleWise LLC and the Cranky Flier assume no responsibility for entries unable to be processed for any technical reason. Contest closes Aug. 15, 2008, at 9:00 p.m. Pacific.

For a complete description of contest Rules, Terms and Conditions click here.

Edited 8/5 @ 254p to remove the “s” from Buena Suerte. Fat fingers, apparently . . . (and no, the irony is not lost on me).

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299 comments on “Enter to Win an iPod Nano with a Six Word Summary on the TSA Liquid Ban

  1. ha! love it, Cranky.

    At first thought the only thing that comes to mind when thinking of how I try to sneak through with my 2-3 overloaded baggies is:

    Don’t confiscate my 4 ounce deodorant.

  2. Hrm
    “Goofy Policy Subsidizes Jetway Businesses”
    “One Bad Apple Spoils Whole Bunch”
    “Liquid Ban, Luggage Fees, Revenue Solution”
    “Ziploc Property: TSA Naked Pix?”

    I’m gonna quit while I’m ahead. Lest the government accuse me of something other than patriotism.

  3. Duty-free bottles confiscated on connecting flights.

    (Also Canadian- so not eligible..)

  4. 4 ounces doesn’t make planes explode.
    My bladder can carry 15 ounces.
    I should have bought Ziploc stock.
    Surrender 3.7 ounces of freedom weekly.
    TSA can’t convert ounces to milileters.
    My deodorant is clear solid, idiot.

    The last one is from the day they enacted the total ban. A TSA drone took away my deodorant, looking confused when I tried to explain the concept of a clear stick.

  5. Bombs don’t kill, large liquids do

    Liquid safety provided by small minds

    Big gulps are big dangers

    Focus on pointless liquid inconvenience

  6. “TSA: Keeping Safe By Keeping Dry”

    “Iraq as WMD’s, and water kills”

    “I’m 75% water. Am I next?”

    “TSA: Water sucks. It really, really sucks.” (ok, so I completely plagiarized that from The Waterboy)

  7. the second one should (obviously) read “Iraq has WMD’s, and water kills.”

  8. Baby bottle battle! Splash hits TSA!

    TSA Training: Three-One-One=Five

    Three-One-One! Airport Profits Fly!

  9. Tolerant travelers hope for safe skies.

    or maybe

    No makeup..perfume..or.hairspray? UnAmerican!

  10. This “security theater” doesn’t protect us!

    The TSA is out of control.

    What about all the shipping containers?

    All together, refuse to remove shoes!

    What happened to the Fourth Amendment?

    Who benefits? Just follow the money!

    Today’s TSA, making driving fun again.

    You can’t make bombs with toothpaste.

    Toothpaste, water, and gel.. oh my!

    Bottled water prices skyrocket, wonder why?

    May I see your papers please!?!?

    TSA really means “Thousands Standing Around”.

    What’s next? Full body X-Ray? Oh…

  11. “Is my toothpaste considered a liquid?”

    “Liquid: that which may go boom”

    “To check or not to check.”

    “Liquids: lacking a definition since 2006.”

  12. “My frustration is over three ounces!”

    “How do you zip a Ziploc?

    “How do you bottle up perspiration?”

    “But it looks like baby formula!”

  13. TSA: helping camels fly since 2006.

    drink it. dump it. check it.

    $300 ticket = ripoff. $5 water = priceless.

    no liquids makes a flier cranky.
    no liquids equals a cranky flier.
    liquid bans equal a cranky flier.
    liquid bans make a flier cranky.

    patriots double bag it for safety.

  14. “TSA wants your unopened bottled water”

    “D.A.R.E. to give TSA your water”

  15. TSA seizes Toothpaste, Soda, and Aftershave.

    My freedom baggie keeps me safe?

    Big bin of confiscated items…ha!

    Take my toiletries…and my freedom!

    TSA perpetuates fear; Osama is jealous.

    The Fourth Amendment is for pussies.

    Illegal search and seizure? F—ing TSA.

  16. Today, 3 ounces. Tomorrow, it’s you!

    “Old bag(gie)” takes on new meaning.

    Ice? Yogurt? Pudding? Applesauce? New world!

    Ziploc stock triples over two years!

    Once upon a time, passengers “bagged it”

    “Will anyone give him/her a Ziploc?”

    TSA means Try to Snuff All

    TSA means Try to Stuff All

    TSA means Try to Stress All

    TSA: A Drier Way to Fly Today

    TSA: Try, Suppose the worst, Alienate all.

    Love means traveling without any liquids.

    Desert conditions, bad hair= safe flight!

    Why would you THINK that’s okay?

    Haven’t you traveled in two years?

    Have you ever traveled with baggies before?

    Don’t you understand about potential terrorists?

    This is what your government wants.

    This is what your government requires.

    I’m just doing my job, okay?

    Go over there and empty your bag.

    Can’t you read? Don’t you understand?

    You just bought this wine? So?

    You’re really holding up the line.

    I don’t care how much it cost.

    No, I can not make an exception.

    No, that bottle does not look empty.

    Go to the end of the line.

    Go check it–or toss it.

    3 is the magic number today!

    That doesn’t look like 3 ounces.

    Your prescription? Did you write this?

    This is mouthwash? It’s not green!

    Who told you mascara was OK?

    Why didn’t you bring a baggie along?

    It’s not me–it’s the law.

  17. lots of random thoughts; most of which I have heard at airports in the last 2 years!

  18. Lining underpants with shampoo since 2006.

    No breastmilk unless you have boobs.

    Water is for crashing, not flying.

    Celebrating 100,000,000 bottles abandoned at security.

  19. Lady Liberty weeps 3 ounce tears.

    No more secure, but much thirstier.

    Heck of a job, Kip Hawley.

    9-11 changed everything; toothpaste now dangerous.

    Fear will keep populace in check.

    Boo! Terrorists will kill with liquids!

    Oh how I hate the TSA.

    Security theater less entertaining than vaudville.

    Magicians use misdirection. So does TSA.

    Hero TSO confiscated water, saved plane.

    Patrick Henry wouldn’t stand for this.

  20. seuliment humide reves passe ce point!

    solo sogni bagnati passato questo punto!

    solo suenos humedos passado este punto!

    What’s next…my spit? ENOUGH ALREADY!!

  21. You can have my water when you pry it from my cold dead hands.

    (Sure, it’s not six words, but it’s how I feel.)

  22. Death before Dehydration!
    TSA-No Apologies,No Refunds,Ever!
    Next Stop Guantanamo!
    Barcodes on Foreheads next,any questions?
    Note to TSA: Terrorists don’t drink.
    Help Stamp Out Civil Rights-TSA
    And I want to fly because??

  23. Clear Sucks, Cheney Halliburton make money!

    Gestapo thieves your wine and gel

    long lines bare feet American Gestapo!

    Gun smugglers to Puerto Rico TSA

    jewelry thieves employed by the TSA

    scum at the airport TSA jackboots

    betcha George don’t fly with TSA

  24. Baby busted! No more tears feared!

    Boozer Busted. Buckaroos bag bottled beer.

  25. It was a gift from Mom.

    I promise I won’t tell anyone.

    Here, take my only child instead.

    This is for medicinal purposes only.

    It’s a present for Grandma Nana

    Drink, party…than get on line.

    Who’s in charge of the take-a-ways?

    Grandma’s sick. Only this will help.

    I’ll drink if before take off.

    This isn’t what it looks like.

  26. TSA made new term: Dry “Country”

    Sealed bottle illegal before Security? Dumb!

    Invest in rail travel. It’s faster.

    Hair gel MAKES the bombshell!

    Parched tongue woe- no H2O.

  27. Sadly, drinking and flying don’t mix.

    Need more shampoo in hotel sizes.

    Just how much is three ounces?

    Big profits for airport water vendors.

  28. “I call it ‘Transportation Stultifying (mis-)Administration.”

    For those SAT-challenged among us (I’d suggest that any of the three meanings fits):

    stul·ti·fy [stuhl-tuh-fahy]
    –verb (used with object), -fied, -fy·ing. 1. to make, or cause to appear, foolish or ridiculous.
    2. to render absurdly or wholly futile or ineffectual, esp. by degrading or frustrating means: Menial work can stultify the mind.
    3. Law. to allege or prove (oneself or another) to be of unsound mind.
    [Origin: 1760–70; < LL stultific?re, equiv. to L stult(us) stupid + -i- -i- + -fic?re -fy]

    —Related forms
    stul·ti·fi·ca·tion, noun
    stul·ti·fi·er, noun
    stul·ti·fy·ing·ly, adverb

    —Synonyms 2. cripple, impede, frustrate, hinder, thwart.

  29. Hey, Flight Junkie. That’s seven words.

    311 rule? Terrorists’ aftermath creates delays.

  30. Bye bye sealed, uneaten yogurt. Why??

    Buy again after security. Higher price.

    TSA drinks, eats on my dime.

    Can’t drink in front of TSA. Why??

    World traveler done flying. Thanks TSA!!

    Weary. Long lines. Late. TSA scoffs.

    Picnic knife tours world until USA.

  31. Three One One Is Really Dumb

    Thousands Standing Around Make Stupid Rules

    Grandma Cried “TSA Took My Fixodent!”

    TSA Won’t Cry Over Spilled Milk

  32. OH My
    Can’t Fly
    So DRY

    No Free Drink
    In This Clink

    Boors Airborne
    Withouout Drink
    or Succor : Note looks better in the OLDE English SUCCOUR

  33. Checking your liquids means no baggie.

    Not funny, but true…

    I love the one about the “dry” sense of humor. Brilliant!

    ~ Bob

  34. Here’s a few to chew on:

    Enslave no more! Free our liquids!

    Liquids should be shared, not imprisoned.

    Stop wasting plastic by captivating liquids.

    Ban more liquids, buy Ziploc stock!

    Freedom is slavery. Ban more liquids.

    Who needs water on a flight?

    Baggies – helping to miniaturize our world.

    Shouldn’t three ounces really be enough?

    Because small is the new big.

    If at first you don’t exceed….

  35. Stealing Bottles from Babies since 2006.
    USA: We are a Dry Country.
    TSA: Wait, Prohibition has been repealed?

  36. TSA = Totally Subjective Administration

    “Forgotten” in carryon = no ziplock needed

  37. For sale: Recovered toiletries. Make offer.


    Three total tolerated, toothpaste too treacherous!

  38. Stop at two! Just for you!
    I’d love to help, but I can’t.
    Don’t you read papers or websites?
    You really won’t like my answer.
    I can’t help you at all.
    You need to go to the counter.
    Listen! Move! Go back over there!
    Honey, they think you are a terrorist.
    Why take anything on with you?
    Special from (Columbus/Cincy/Chicago/add a one word)? It don’t fly….

  39. Ha! Two jiggers per three-ounce bottle.

    And if I win, you can reach me at susanoa (at) hotmail.com.

    Thanx for sponsoring this!

  40. “Bob Marley’s No liquid, no cry”

    “Mo’ money for near-gate merchants”

    “1 bag, 3 ounces, my ass”

    “1 bag, 3 ounces, my foot”

    “Bag it, check it, or garbage”

    “Anti-Fins: no Liquid by The Rasmus”
    (kudos if you actually get the hidden meanings here – Liquid is a song by the Finnish band, The Rasmus)

    “Solids and Gas: Cool, Liquid: Not”

    “No bourbon, no scotch, no beer”

    “Mini-me loves the TSA!”

  41. Laws that can change your life
    2020 Headline: What were they thinking?
    Water wasted; plastic dumps; landfill crisis
    Airport bins; American excess; Earth’s wasteland
    Water: mankind’s most precious commodity wasted
    Confiscated toiletries; ugly passengers; smelly aircraft
    Future generations’ curse: water shortage worldwide
    Boycott airport retailers; laws change quickly
    Our legacy: they just didn’t care

  42. Everyone so thirsty right before checkpoints.

    Emptying water bottles with no shoes.

    three ounces or one hundred milliliters?

    inconsistent rules, bah! the clueless rules.

  43. “Helping preserve the earth’s water resources.”

    “Three ounce limit equal gallons inconvenience!”

    “Waste the BIG, save the LITTLE.”

    “Common sense not available three ounces!”

    “Needed: One ounce of common sense!”

  44. Liquids-free, high altitude equals cranky attitude.

    Liquids-free at high altitude=cranky attitude.

    Cranky attitude: Liquids-free at high altitude.

    Flying wine-less makes cranky fliers whiny.

    Why whine? Pack wine. Fly wisely.

    Why whine? Pack wine. Fly happy.

    Fly secure: Pack liquids and wine.

    Fly secure: Pack liquids alongside wine.

    Fly secure: Pack liquids and bottles.

    Fly secure: Pack liquids alongside bottles.

    Pack your liquids alongside your wine.

    Pack your liquids alongside your bottles.

    Don’t carry on! Relax. Pack bottles.

    Don’t whine. Get wise. Check bottles.

    Don’t whine. Get wise. Check wine.

  45. Scope they seize while overlooking weaponry.

    Simple minds. Simple plan. No assurance.

    …and I still feel no safer.

  46. 3 oz. water bottle doesn’t exist.


    60% body weight. TSA worst nightmare.


    Plastics rule. Papers drool. TSA wins.


  47. The mini-travel container industry is booming!

    The mini/travel container industry is booming!

    The mini-travel container industry is hot!

    The mini/travel container industry is hot!

  48. I’m made up of 75% water!


    Can’t we all just get along?


    Mix 6 x 3 ounces go boom!

    Mix contents of baggie, go boom!

  49. Overturn the ban,
    Quench your thirst,
    Drink more wine.

    #2. Carry on water,
    But don’t disobey,
    Eventually, get your way!

    #3. Elixir of life,
    Wine is fantastic,
    Drink some today.

  50. TSA security theater begets no safety.

    TSA security lie, liquid ban bogus.

    Osama bin Ladin works for CIA

    Klepticans killed Constitution; nobody cared, cried

    No fly till TSA no more

  51. Sack the liquids for my safety.

    TSA conveniently forcing organization on toiletries

    It’s no big deal to comply

    Small plastic bottles inside plastic bag

  52. I decided to crank a few more:
    Limited Liquids cause citizen complaints
    TSA Rules: Neither Transportation Nor Safety
    TSA Winning War 3.7oz by 3.7oz
    TSA: Winning War liquid by liquid
    Ziploc must write regs, TSA lapdog
    TSA: Poor thinking beats good logic (everytime)

  53. The TSA: We’re right, you’re wrong.
    TSA: Hating on Arabs since 2001
    Useless rules, no likey, no flyey
    Trust uncle Kip for plane safety
    Polluting the Earth, bag by bag
    Say it loud: F@#k the TSA!

  54. This one is for all of the moms of young children who travel:

    Breastmilk tossed + hungry baby = terrorists win

  55. And because I cannot believe I actually had this conversation,

    Ice is a solid, you dumbass.

  56. Cranky fliers mean the terrorists win.

    Don’t be cranky else terrorists win.

    Terrorists lose when fliers fly happy.

    Fly happy and the terrorists lose.

    Empty overhead bins equals more room!

    Empty overhead bins now storing passengers.

  57. Don’t bogart that water my friend.

    Don’t bogart that wine my friend.

    Don’t bogart that deodorant my friend!

  58. Ok, thanks for playing everyone. The contest is now closed. Keep visiting Cranky early next week and I’ll post the winners!

Comments are closed.

Cranky Flier