Enter to Win an iPod Nano with a Six Word Summary on the TSA Liquid Ban

Raise your hand if you’re ready to enter Cranky’s first contest. Ok, put your hands down now. I can’t see them anyway. (By the way, if you’re a new Cranky visitor, welcome! Please throw some comments out there, and sign yourself up for my daily email.)

I’m very happy to be teaming up with BottleWise to celebrate (curse?) the upcoming 2nd anniversary of the TSA liquid ban. We might as well try to have some fun with it, despite how No Liquids Allowedmuch we hate it.

You want details? I got details. You have from right now until 9p Pacific Time on August 15 to come up with your best six word summary about the liquid ban. Just come up with your best entry (actually, as many entries as you’d like, but you can only win one prize) and enter it in the comments section below. Once the contest is over, we’ll pick the winners and let you know right here on the blog. The big winner will get a 4GB iPod Nano® while the three runners-up will each get a BottleWise Duo™ wine travel bag.

Why six words? Legend has it Ernest Hemingway responded to a challenge to write a six-word story with what he said was his best work: “For sale: baby shoes. Never used.” Here’s my best shot so far, though sadly I can’t pick myself as the winner.

“Ziplocs make for neglected toiletry bags”

Now it’s your turn.

¡Buena suerte! (That’s “good luck” for those who are Spanish-ly challenged.) Leave your responses in the comments section below.

Terms and Conditions

Contest open only to legal residents of the 50 United States and Washington, D.C., 21 years or older at time of entry. There is no purchase necessary to enter or to win, nor is there any cost to register. This is an online-only contest. The Contestant is deemed to be the holder of the established email account associated with the entry. BottleWise LLC and The Cranky Flier reserve the right to reject and disqualify any submissions which, in their sole discretion, are deemed to be offensive or in any way inappropriate. BottleWise LLC and the Cranky Flier assume no responsibility for entries unable to be processed for any technical reason. Contest closes Aug. 15, 2008, at 9:00 p.m. Pacific.

For a complete description of contest Rules, Terms and Conditions click here.

Edited 8/5 @ 254p to remove the “s” from Buena Suerte. Fat fingers, apparently . . . (and no, the irony is not lost on me).

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299 Responses to Enter to Win an iPod Nano with a Six Word Summary on the TSA Liquid Ban

  1. Howie says:

    I check bags because of you

  2. Mike Coffey says:

    My dop kit cries. It’s lonely.

  3. Gary Leff says:

    Nineteen hijackers, combine liquids, go boom.

  4. Gary Leff says:

    Wife uses my entire freedom baggie.

  5. Gary Leff says:

    Effective lobbying subsidizes Ziploc corporate profits.

  6. Kelly Ellis says:

    But red wine is my medicine!

  7. Clint Jones says:

    Buy liquids when you get there.

  8. Skinny says:

    Bring Bag; Quart Only; Six Ounce

  9. Vijay Damle says:

    TSA starts news business: dehydrated water

  10. Embo says:

    ha! love it, Cranky.

    At first thought the only thing that comes to mind when thinking of how I try to sneak through with my 2-3 overloaded baggies is:

    Don’t confiscate my 4 ounce deodorant.

  11. Dr. Vino says:

    Global War on Toiletries turns two

  12. ML Harris says:

    “Goofy Policy Subsidizes Jetway Businesses”
    “One Bad Apple Spoils Whole Bunch”
    “Liquid Ban, Luggage Fees, Revenue Solution”
    “Ziploc Property: TSA Naked Pix?”

    I’m gonna quit while I’m ahead. Lest the government accuse me of something other than patriotism.

  13. Bottled water is not a crime.

  14. America: Land of the thirsty traveler.

  15. Gary Leff says:

    But frozen water is a solid!

  16. Liquids banned, terrorists win. Liberty weeps.

  17. Gary Leff says:

    Kip Hawley is a complete idiot.

  18. DRG says:

    Wasted time. Canadians apparently not welcome.

    There. That’s six words.

  19. Gary Leff says:

    Freedom dies, three ounces each time.

  20. SJA says:

    Oh, is water a liquid too?

  21. David says:

    Ironically, wet blankets enforce liquids ban.

  22. Brian Tydlacka says:

    But my baby needs her milk

  23. Chris Arterburn says:

    Thirsty? go elsewhere. We’ll Take it.

  24. James says:

    Checked birthday bottles seized, officers party.

  25. James says:

    Balloon fits in rectum. Salmanazar doesn’t.

  26. jen says:

    Duty-free bottles confiscated on connecting flights.

    (Also Canadian- so not eligible..)

  27. SY says:

    Mascara? Not so fast, my dear!

  28. KW says:

    Buena Suerte (for the Spanish-ly challenged – no “s”)

  29. Mary Ryan says:

    Springtime in Vermont. Syrup stained Uggs.

  30. A says:

    soak passengers on bottled water price

  31. jkiel says:

    Who needs water to live, anyway?

  32. Ken says:

    George Orwell was right. Drink up.

  33. Jim says:

    Dehydrated water still permitted on aircraft.

  34. Jen says:

    What next? Swimsuits only, no luggage.

  35. Jonathan says:

    Aircraft deicing fluid works just fine.

  36. Jonathan says:

    Liquids are banned? To the sink!

  37. Rick121 says:

    That’s lube. That’s a condom. So?

  38. AN says:

    No more stealing tiny hotel shampoos.

  39. flightjunkie says:

    Liquid Ban Dumber Than Paris Hilton

  40. flightjunkie says:

    Zip-loc Accused Of Conspiring with TSA

  41. CJ says:

    4 ounces doesn’t make planes explode.
    My bladder can carry 15 ounces.
    I should have bought Ziploc stock.
    Surrender 3.7 ounces of freedom weekly.
    TSA can’t convert ounces to milileters.
    My deodorant is clear solid, idiot.

    The last one is from the day they enacted the total ban. A TSA drone took away my deodorant, looking confused when I tried to explain the concept of a clear stick.

  42. flightjunkie says:

    TSA and Zip-loc Piss Off Al Gore

  43. asad says:

    empty seats and empty economy

  44. Tiger437 says:

    They have got to be kidding!

  45. Tiger437 says:

    Half-empty 6oz bottle still SOL!

  46. Tiger437 says:

    Sorry baby, you’ll have to wait.

  47. flyairdave says:

    Working security since fired from McDonald’s.

  48. Tiger437 says:

    Pardon my odor, no perfume allowed.

  49. Brad says:

    TSA toiletry terrorists took two tubes.

  50. Brian says:

    Yikes! Forgot Baggie! Favorite Cologne GONE!

  51. Brian says:

    Sheesh! Stop showing my baggie around!

  52. Embo says:

    2 Years, 3 Ounces, Million headaches.

  53. WPV says:

    Restroom water never tasted so good.

  54. bex says:

    Bombs don’t kill, large liquids do

    Liquid safety provided by small minds

    Big gulps are big dangers

    Focus on pointless liquid inconvenience

  55. gobluetwo says:

    “TSA: Keeping Safe By Keeping Dry”

    “Iraq as WMD’s, and water kills”

    “I’m 75% water. Am I next?”

    “TSA: Water sucks. It really, really sucks.” (ok, so I completely plagiarized that from The Waterboy)

  56. gobluetwo says:

    the second one should (obviously) read “Iraq has WMD’s, and water kills.”

  57. spengle says:

    increased revenue; buy liquids in terminals

  58. Embo says:

    TSA Lady loves my expensive hairspray.

  59. eponymous coward says:

    The maid tossed my Ziploc bag.

  60. Annie says:

    I chugged red wine in line!

  61. Jennifer says:

    Baby bottle battle! Splash hits TSA!

    TSA Training: Three-One-One=Five

    Three-One-One! Airport Profits Fly!

  62. Travel Girl says:

    Thanks for allowing my knife onboard!

  63. Travel Girl says:

    Offered: water bottle and first born

  64. Ari says:

    TSA: Because loose liquids sink airships.

  65. BJ says:

    Suck it up before you fly!

  66. Susan says:

    Tolerant travelers hope for safe skies.

    or maybe

    No makeup..perfume..or.hairspray? UnAmerican!

  67. L.J.T. says:

    Syringe is to refill my bottles!

  68. L.J.T. says:

    Hypoallergenic TSA takes perfume away. YAY!

  69. L.J.T. says:

    Bar soap = shampoo, bodywash, shaving cream

  70. ajengle says:

    it’s not a bomb; only vodka

  71. Stephen Waits says:

    This “security theater” doesn’t protect us!

    The TSA is out of control.

    What about all the shipping containers?

    All together, refuse to remove shoes!

    What happened to the Fourth Amendment?

    Who benefits? Just follow the money!

    Today’s TSA, making driving fun again.

    You can’t make bombs with toothpaste.

    Toothpaste, water, and gel.. oh my!

    Bottled water prices skyrocket, wonder why?

    May I see your papers please!?!?

    TSA really means “Thousands Standing Around”.

    What’s next? Full body X-Ray? Oh…

  72. Zach says:

    Don’t pack Chanel, lest TSA swindle.

  73. John Costello says:

    I drink. I fly. I cry.

  74. Stew says:

    Wish b***ards had used liter bottles!

  75. Rochester Rich says:

    Beware liquids, three ounces or more.

  76. Jeff says:

    “Is my toothpaste considered a liquid?”

    “Liquid: that which may go boom”

    “To check or not to check.”

    “Liquids: lacking a definition since 2006.”

  77. Nanner says:

    Don’t whine. Let us carry wine.

  78. Jeff says:

    “Person in front: read the sign.”

  79. JLSocks says:

    Avoid TSA hassles…try flying dry.

  80. Chris Arterburn says:

    Got Milk? not anymore. we’re TSA.

  81. Rick says:

    The Frogs stole my toothpaste.

  82. LT says:

    “My frustration is over three ounces!”

    “How do you zip a Ziploc?

    “How do you bottle up perspiration?”

    “But it looks like baby formula!”

  83. Greg says:

    TSA: helping camels fly since 2006.

    drink it. dump it. check it.

    $300 ticket = ripoff. $5 water = priceless.

    no liquids makes a flier cranky.
    no liquids equals a cranky flier.
    liquid bans equal a cranky flier.
    liquid bans make a flier cranky.

    patriots double bag it for safety.

  84. LT says:

    “TSA wants your unopened bottled water”

    “D.A.R.E. to give TSA your water”

  85. Greg says:

    ziplock bags make me a patriot

  86. Diane says:

    Toss church key or Purgatory line.

  87. lloyd cole says:

    contest–there’s only dry humour in abstinence

  88. flyairdave says:

    Water’s a buck, thanks USAirways.

  89. nettebunny says:

    Grandma’s rum cake recipe for sale

  90. Kelli says:

    Summer flight: winter sweaters shelter wine

  91. Neal says:

    No water…water for one dollar!

  92. Chris says:

    Kip Hawley is a fucking idiot.

  93. Harr Chen says:

    Two years later, water still dangerous

  94. Harr Chen says:

    Still no respite for parched travelers

  95. Harr Chen says:

    Travelers start labeling water “prescription medication”

  96. Harr Chen says:

    For that matter:

    Travelers start labeling booze “prescription medication”

  97. Harr Chen says:

    One more variation:

    Travelers label vodka as “breast milk”

  98. Security has dry sense of humor.

  99. Security cries wolf – liquids, aerosols, gels

  100. People are 80% water – 80% banned?

  101. Liquids rules – Osama laughing at us.

  102. Jeff says:

    TSA seizes Toothpaste, Soda, and Aftershave.

    My freedom baggie keeps me safe?

    Big bin of confiscated items…ha!

    Take my toiletries…and my freedom!

    TSA perpetuates fear; Osama is jealous.

    The Fourth Amendment is for pussies.

    Illegal search and seizure? F—ing TSA.

  103. Jeanne Bean says:

    My bra is my toiletry bag

  104. Geof says:


  105. Jeff says:

    Terrorists scare me less than TSA.

  106. Lesley says:

    Total scam invented by Hudson News.

  107. Gregg says:

    Three ounces never seemed so small.

  108. Gregg says:

    Hydration was once an easier proposition.

  109. Gregg says:

    Liberty no longer allows liquid access.

  110. Gregg says:

    Today it’s liquid, tomorrow it’s clothes.

  111. Gregg says:

    Today we drink, tomorrow we fly.

  112. Eric says:

    Water prices at gate: a bitch.

  113. Bobesi says:

    Pour me out, throw me away

  114. SG says:

    3 Ounces, 1 Quart,1 Bag

  115. SG says:

    Why are travel toiletries 3+ Ounces?

  116. Julia says:

    Today, 3 ounces. Tomorrow, it’s you!

    “Old bag(gie)” takes on new meaning.

    Ice? Yogurt? Pudding? Applesauce? New world!

    Ziploc stock triples over two years!

    Once upon a time, passengers “bagged it”

    “Will anyone give him/her a Ziploc?”

    TSA means Try to Snuff All

    TSA means Try to Stuff All

    TSA means Try to Stress All

    TSA: A Drier Way to Fly Today

    TSA: Try, Suppose the worst, Alienate all.

    Love means traveling without any liquids.

    Desert conditions, bad hair= safe flight!

    Why would you THINK that’s okay?

    Haven’t you traveled in two years?

    Have you ever traveled with baggies before?

    Don’t you understand about potential terrorists?

    This is what your government wants.

    This is what your government requires.

    I’m just doing my job, okay?

    Go over there and empty your bag.

    Can’t you read? Don’t you understand?

    You just bought this wine? So?

    You’re really holding up the line.

    I don’t care how much it cost.

    No, I can not make an exception.

    No, that bottle does not look empty.

    Go to the end of the line.

    Go check it–or toss it.

    3 is the magic number today!

    That doesn’t look like 3 ounces.

    Your prescription? Did you write this?

    This is mouthwash? It’s not green!

    Who told you mascara was OK?

    Why didn’t you bring a baggie along?

    It’s not me–it’s the law.

  117. Julia says:

    lots of random thoughts; most of which I have heard at airports in the last 2 years!

  118. Yo says:

    Incompetent slackers in white, long delays

  119. Yo says:

    No liquids on planes? How Kafkaesque

    I got your liquid, right HERE.

  120. yoyo bozo says:

    TSA sucks big green donkey dicks!

  121. Kevincm says:

    Ziplock Industry Goverment Support by TSA!

  122. flyairdave says:

    Give me freedom, give me water.

  123. LB says:

    Soggy stuff crammed together no bomb

  124. Lining underpants with shampoo since 2006.

    No breastmilk unless you have boobs.

    Water is for crashing, not flying.

    Celebrating 100,000,000 bottles abandoned at security.

  125. Liquids equal terror? In what stratosphere?

  126. Jeff says:

    Lady Liberty weeps 3 ounce tears.

    No more secure, but much thirstier.

    Heck of a job, Kip Hawley.

    9-11 changed everything; toothpaste now dangerous.

    Fear will keep populace in check.

    Boo! Terrorists will kill with liquids!

    Oh how I hate the TSA.

    Security theater less entertaining than vaudville.

    Magicians use misdirection. So does TSA.

    Hero TSO confiscated water, saved plane.

    Patrick Henry wouldn’t stand for this.

  127. david carlon says:


  128. Anon Coward says:

    Do you want to fly today?

  129. Kelly Ellis says:

    I left my wine in SF.

  130. Bill Arnold says:

    No more wine?
    I won’t whine.

  131. Skinny says:

    Gallon Ziploc, angry agent, go shopping

  132. Debbie Burd says:

    TSA bans hydration!
    This prevents obliteration?

  133. Bob Mantz says:

    “My Bladder is Carrying 12oz On”

  134. Carrie W. says:

    Curly hair needs product. Flying = Frizz.

  135. MMS says:

    seuliment humide reves passe ce point!

    solo sogni bagnati passato questo punto!

    solo suenos humedos passado este punto!

    What’s next…my spit? ENOUGH ALREADY!!

  136. Mare says:

    That ugly rash? Used hotel shampoo.

  137. Joyce Fitzsimmons says:

    Fly thirsty.
    No liquids.
    Safe yet ?

  138. George B says:

    You can have my water when you pry it from my cold dead hands.

    (Sure, it’s not six words, but it’s how I feel.)

  139. Ed E says:

    Saving airlines money by reducing flushes.

  140. bryan SFO says:

    “Three-three-one” is so silly.

  141. Brad Bechtel says:

    Did we declare war on moisture?

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  143. Teri Triplett says:

    No Zin but a stick pin?

  144. toni vitanza says:

    The rules apply to you, too.

  145. Teri Triplett says:

    42 3oz bottles make a gallon

  146. Rich says:

    Liquid policy complaint? Added to watchlist!

  147. Death before Dehydration!
    TSA-No Apologies,No Refunds,Ever!
    Next Stop Guantanamo!
    Barcodes on Foreheads next,any questions?
    Note to TSA: Terrorists don’t drink.
    Help Stamp Out Civil Rights-TSA
    And I want to fly because??

  148. allan freedman says:

    Laphroaig 30, security, no checked bags

  149. Jen says:

    Ridiculous rule, Libations Prohibited, Universe Ending!!

  150. Randolph says:

    Clear Sucks, Cheney Halliburton make money!

    Gestapo thieves your wine and gel

    long lines bare feet American Gestapo!

    Gun smugglers to Puerto Rico TSA

    jewelry thieves employed by the TSA

    scum at the airport TSA jackboots

    betcha George don’t fly with TSA

  151. Bill McCann says:

    Merlot Impounded.
    California Screaming!
    Screeners Imbibing?

  152. ccras says:

    lip gloss is not a threat.

  153. Alex says:

    two years later, we’re still thirsty

  154. Jim Hegmann says:

    bottla red, bottla white,none onflight.

  155. Jim H. says:

    spill drip pour.bottle no more.

  156. Ron J. says:

    TSA, driving airport revenue since 2006

  157. Pat Radcliffe says:

    Lousy. Late. Lost Luggage. Leaking Liquids.

  158. robby says:

    TSAngel has extra baggie, vodka safe!

  159. Tim McD says:

    Baby busted! No more tears feared!

    Boozer Busted. Buckaroos bag bottled beer.

  160. robby says:

    (T)housands (S)tanding (A)round, drinking my booze!

  161. Dave Conrad says:

    Self loading cargo! No liquids! Fun!!!!!!

  162. Alcohol Stealing Terrorists(TSA Backwards)
    Who needs Prohibition ? We Have TSA.

  163. Brad Bechtel says:

    Never fear – we’re dry and safe!

  164. Brad Bechtel says:

    War on terror leaves me parched.

  165. rick says:

    More Peace
    More Love
    Drink Wine!

  166. Maureen Bruschi says:

    It was a gift from Mom.

    I promise I won’t tell anyone.

    Here, take my only child instead.

    This is for medicinal purposes only.

    It’s a present for Grandma Nana

    Drink, party…than get on line.

    Who’s in charge of the take-a-ways?

    Grandma’s sick. Only this will help.

    I’ll drink if before take off.

    This isn’t what it looks like.

  167. Tiger437 says:

    TSA made new term: Dry “Country”

    Sealed bottle illegal before Security? Dumb!

    Invest in rail travel. It’s faster.

    Hair gel MAKES the bombshell!

    Parched tongue woe- no H2O.

  168. It’s not heavy,It’s my Whisky.

  169. RalphKramden says:

    No shoes, no shampoo, NO SERVICE!

  170. Dan says:

    Oh No, Liquids! Cavity Check!

  171. Dan says:

    No, Sorry. This is 3.1 Ounces

  172. Julie says:

    Smashing success
    Big mess
    Avoided arrest

  173. Julie says:

    Baggie taken
    Was mistaken
    Not quart-sized!

  174. Bob Chuck says:

    Blasted TSA!
    My Chateau Lafite-

  175. Gary Leff says:

    I miss only removing my shoes…

  176. Bob Chuck says:

    TSA stands for
    Terrorist snickering abounds

  177. Jim says:

    Sadly, drinking and flying don’t mix.

    Need more shampoo in hotel sizes.

    Just how much is three ounces?

    Big profits for airport water vendors.

  178. “I call it ‘Transportation Stultifying (mis-)Administration.”

    For those SAT-challenged among us (I’d suggest that any of the three meanings fits):

    stul·ti·fy [stuhl-tuh-fahy]
    –verb (used with object), -fied, -fy·ing. 1. to make, or cause to appear, foolish or ridiculous.
    2. to render absurdly or wholly futile or ineffectual, esp. by degrading or frustrating means: Menial work can stultify the mind.
    3. Law. to allege or prove (oneself or another) to be of unsound mind.
    [Origin: 1760–70; < LL stultific?re, equiv. to L stult(us) stupid + -i- -i- + -fic?re -fy]

    —Related forms
    stul·ti·fi·ca·tion, noun
    stul·ti·fi·er, noun
    stul·ti·fy·ing·ly, adverb

    —Synonyms 2. cripple, impede, frustrate, hinder, thwart.

  179. Lori says:

    Liquids lost, bottles tossed, feelin’ bossed.

  180. Eric Kress says:

    OK, I’ll just drink it here.

  181. deadlineguy says:

    Hey, Flight Junkie. That’s seven words.

    311 rule? Terrorists’ aftermath creates delays.

  182. Jeff says:

    Ironically being soaked by the TSA.

  183. Doreen says:

    Bye bye sealed, uneaten yogurt. Why??

    Buy again after security. Higher price.

    TSA drinks, eats on my dime.

    Can’t drink in front of TSA. Why??

    World traveler done flying. Thanks TSA!!

    Weary. Long lines. Late. TSA scoffs.

    Picnic knife tours world until USA.

  184. Jeff says:

    Or, to be more distinctive:

    “Cleverly being soaked by the TSA”

  185. Jeff says:

    “The TSA retirement plan raises questions.”

  186. Will says:

    TSA sez: Feel thirsty? Try Greyhound!

  187. Carson says:

    In cahoots with gift shops? Probably

  188. Carson says:

    Water purchased inside is much safer.

  189. Carson says:

    Keep buying tiny tubes of toothpaste.

  190. Carson says:

    Razor, no problem. Shaving cream dangerous!

  191. Carson says:

    What about liquids inside my body?

  192. Carson says:

    Can’t fit fake boobs in baggie.

  193. Traveling John says:

    Three One One Is Really Dumb

    Thousands Standing Around Make Stupid Rules

    Grandma Cried “TSA Took My Fixodent!”

    TSA Won’t Cry Over Spilled Milk

  194. Mark O. Henderson says:

    OH My
    Can’t Fly
    So DRY

    No Free Drink
    In This Clink

    Boors Airborne
    Withouout Drink
    or Succor : Note looks better in the OLDE English SUCCOUR

  195. Bob says:

    Checking your liquids means no baggie.

    Not funny, but true…

    I love the one about the “dry” sense of humor. Brilliant!

    ~ Bob

  196. Matt Rosenthal says:

    I can buy
    It can fly

  197. Karan M says:

    Liquids In Quarts Unless In Diapers

  198. mykoleary says:

    Duty free? Glug glug. I’m drunk.

  199. Jim H. says:

    If not dry, It won’t fly

  200. Paula says:

    Shampoo? Mouthwash? Facecream?

  201. Esteve says:

    You weren’t actually thirsty, were you?

  202. Elisa Roland says:

    Waterboarding banned for terrorists and passengers

  203. Elisa Roland says:

    Got milK? Not on my flight

    Lose weight with TSA’s Liquid Diet

  204. Matt Rosenthal says:

    Here’s a few to chew on:

    Enslave no more! Free our liquids!

    Liquids should be shared, not imprisoned.

    Stop wasting plastic by captivating liquids.

    Ban more liquids, buy Ziploc stock!

    Freedom is slavery. Ban more liquids.

    Who needs water on a flight?

    Baggies – helping to miniaturize our world.

    Shouldn’t three ounces really be enough?

    Because small is the new big.

    If at first you don’t exceed….

  205. Jim says:

    “Water, water, everywhere?” Nope. Sorry, Coleridge.

  206. robert says:

    make my rumcake, a double, please

  207. robert says:

    no bottles make me dull boy

  208. robert says:

    no bottle no fly choo choo

  209. robert says:

    where will my genie get dressed

  210. Elisa Roland says:

    Get high on 3oz or less

    Flying: Where 3oz gets you high

  211. Elisa Roland says:

    Where the glass is half empty

  212. Elisa Roland says:

    My cup runneth over no more

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  214. Gretchen says:

    Fabulous liquid cornucopia for airport employees

  215. Gretchen says:

    Bottlewise and Gladbags Business Plan: TSA

  216. Pat B. says:

    Per TSA video, Boston allows liquids!

  217. Two by two, hands of blue

  218. Elizabeth Williamson says:

    Stealing Bottles from Babies since 2006.
    USA: We are a Dry Country.
    TSA: Wait, Prohibition has been repealed?

  219. DavidM says:

    TSA = Totally Subjective Administration

    “Forgotten” in carryon = no ziplock needed

  220. SJA says:

    Half empty Bottle(wise) is still full

  221. Brian says:

    For sale: Recovered toiletries. Make offer.


    Three total tolerated, toothpaste too treacherous!

  222. Julia says:

    Stop at two! Just for you!
    I’d love to help, but I can’t.
    Don’t you read papers or websites?
    You really won’t like my answer.
    I can’t help you at all.
    You need to go to the counter.
    Listen! Move! Go back over there!
    Honey, they think you are a terrorist.
    Why take anything on with you?
    Special from (Columbus/Cincy/Chicago/add a one word)? It don’t fly….

  223. cathy says:

    No Pert, no goos, fo’ service

  224. cathy says:

    Hell no to no hair gel

  225. Rachel says:

    Friends don’t let friends carry liquids.

  226. Susan says:

    Ha! Two jiggers per three-ounce bottle.

    And if I win, you can reach me at susanoa (at) hotmail.com.

    Thanx for sponsoring this!

  227. Fredricka says:

    No big bottles to carry around.

  228. Fredricka says:

    Poke hole let liquid out.

  229. 2 years – long time between drinks.

    2 years sober. Thanks airport security.

    Big liquids make TSA feel insecure.

  230. Dan Webb says:

    :( I just realized you have to be 21.

    Oh well.

  231. Travel Girl says:

    This is too ridiculous to comment

  232. Garrett says:

    Parched. Putrid. Petrified. Secure my freedoms.

  233. HB says:

    Bad hair day in the making

  234. Sue says:

    I vote for Mark Ashley:
    “Bottled water is not a crime”

  235. Eric Kroll says:

    “Bob Marley’s No liquid, no cry”

    “Mo’ money for near-gate merchants”

    “1 bag, 3 ounces, my ass”

    “1 bag, 3 ounces, my foot”

    “Bag it, check it, or garbage”

    “Anti-Fins: no Liquid by The Rasmus”
    (kudos if you actually get the hidden meanings here – Liquid is a song by the Finnish band, The Rasmus)

    “Solids and Gas: Cool, Liquid: Not”

    “No bourbon, no scotch, no beer”

    “Mini-me loves the TSA!”

  236. Editor says:

    Laws that can change your life
    2020 Headline: What were they thinking?
    Water wasted; plastic dumps; landfill crisis
    Airport bins; American excess; Earth’s wasteland
    Water: mankind’s most precious commodity wasted
    Confiscated toiletries; ugly passengers; smelly aircraft
    Future generations’ curse: water shortage worldwide
    Boycott airport retailers; laws change quickly
    Our legacy: they just didn’t care

  237. perry says:

    effective security theater requires inane subjectivity

  238. John says:

    Take the Chertoff my back, too.

  239. Bryn says:

    Taking a sip isn’t enough anymore

  240. rick aka ollie says:

    To Stupid to Argue about it
    137 passingers 137 3oz bottles hmmmmmmm

  241. ptahcha says:

    Everyone so thirsty right before checkpoints.

    Emptying water bottles with no shoes.

    three ounces or one hundred milliliters?

    inconsistent rules, bah! the clueless rules.

  242. tuckpitch says:

    No makeup, no meds, no hygiene!

  243. Babs says:

    They didn’t even ask about them.

  244. Sharon says:

    Ban liquid, bag charges, security, extortion?

  245. Kasia says:

    Just announced–$15 toiletry bag charge.

  246. Kasia says:


    Just announced–$15 plastic baggy charge.

  247. Kasia says:

    Liquids tossed save South from drought.

  248. Kasia says:

    Don’t whine over wine. Use BottleWise.

  249. Irene says:

    Uncle Sam wants my LIP GLOSS???

  250. Eric Kroll says:

    “Helping preserve the earth’s water resources.”

    “Three ounce limit equal gallons inconvenience!”

    “Waste the BIG, save the LITTLE.”

    “Common sense not available three ounces!”

    “Needed: One ounce of common sense!”

  251. Pam says:

    Hey – those are gel-filled bra staps!

  252. Pam says:

    Three course meals okay. Water? Nope!

  253. Elisa Roland says:

    Stow it, chug it or lose it

  254. Elisa Roland says:

    Stow it, chug it, lose it

  255. Elisa Roland says:

    Stow and stash, instead of trash

  256. David Neal says:

    Liquids-free, high altitude equals cranky attitude.

    Liquids-free at high altitude=cranky attitude.

    Cranky attitude: Liquids-free at high altitude.

    Flying wine-less makes cranky fliers whiny.

    Why whine? Pack wine. Fly wisely.

    Why whine? Pack wine. Fly happy.

    Fly secure: Pack liquids and wine.

    Fly secure: Pack liquids alongside wine.

    Fly secure: Pack liquids and bottles.

    Fly secure: Pack liquids alongside bottles.

    Pack your liquids alongside your wine.

    Pack your liquids alongside your bottles.

    Don’t carry on! Relax. Pack bottles.

    Don’t whine. Get wise. Check bottles.

    Don’t whine. Get wise. Check wine.

  257. Ben P. says:

    Sad but true, small size wins.

  258. Kasia says:

    Scope they seize while overlooking weaponry.

    Simple minds. Simple plan. No assurance.

    …and I still feel no safer.

  259. Ben P. says:

    3 oz. water bottle doesn’t exist.


    60% body weight. TSA worst nightmare.


    Plastics rule. Papers drool. TSA wins.


  260. Elisa Roland says:

    ounce by ounce flying is draining

  261. David Neal says:

    The mini-travel container industry is booming!

    The mini/travel container industry is booming!

    The mini-travel container industry is hot!

    The mini/travel container industry is hot!

  262. Elisa Roland says:

    Taking the f out of flying

  263. Tucano Bandeirante says:

    Damn! cant carry my booze anymore

  264. K Thompson says:

    First my shoes, now my booze.

  265. Melissa says:

    I’m made up of 75% water!


    Can’t we all just get along?


    Mix 6 x 3 ounces go boom!

    Mix contents of baggie, go boom!

  266. Mark L. says:

    Overturn the ban,
    Quench your thirst,
    Drink more wine.

    #2. Carry on water,
    But don’t disobey,
    Eventually, get your way!

    #3. Elixir of life,
    Wine is fantastic,
    Drink some today.

  267. Curtis says:

    TSA security theater begets no safety.

    TSA security lie, liquid ban bogus.

    Osama bin Ladin works for CIA

    Klepticans killed Constitution; nobody cared, cried

    No fly till TSA no more

  268. Pingback: The Cranky Flier » You Have Less Than 24 Hours to Enter the Contest

  269. Aaron says:

    Water on Mars, not on plane.

  270. Yar says:

    Sack the liquids for my safety.

    TSA conveniently forcing organization on toiletries

    It’s no big deal to comply

    Small plastic bottles inside plastic bag

  271. ML Harris says:

    I decided to crank a few more:
    Limited Liquids cause citizen complaints
    TSA Rules: Neither Transportation Nor Safety
    TSA Winning War 3.7oz by 3.7oz
    TSA: Winning War liquid by liquid
    Ziploc must write regs, TSA lapdog
    TSA: Poor thinking beats good logic (everytime)

  272. MFK says:

    Liquid? No! Well maybe three ounces…

  273. GS says:

    Creating false security through stupid rules

  274. S says:

    The TSA: We’re right, you’re wrong.
    TSA: Hating on Arabs since 2001
    Useless rules, no likey, no flyey
    Trust uncle Kip for plane safety
    Polluting the Earth, bag by bag
    Say it loud: F@#k the TSA!

  275. SecretAsianMan says:

    Now I steal more hotel swag.

  276. Colleen says:

    This one is for all of the moms of young children who travel:

    Breastmilk tossed + hungry baby = terrorists win

  277. Colleen says:

    And because I cannot believe I actually had this conversation,

    Ice is a solid, you dumbass.

  278. Colleen says:

    TSA: Rules on the fly, suckers

  279. E. Christopher Caravette says:

    TSA, 1 2 3

  280. Pam says:

    How do I feel about the TSA ban on liquids?

    I feel SO much safer now!

  281. Scott says:

    I came, I three-ounced, I denounced

  282. SY says:

    Medication baggie? No HIPAA Compliance here!

  283. David Neal says:

    Cranky fliers mean the terrorists win.

    Don’t be cranky else terrorists win.

    Terrorists lose when fliers fly happy.

    Fly happy and the terrorists lose.

    Empty overhead bins equals more room!

    Empty overhead bins now storing passengers.

  284. Nick says:

    “My colostomy bag has never recovered”

  285. Scott says:

    I do denounce the three ounce

  286. Scott says:

    A new source for liquidity: TSA

  287. Alyson says:

    Hand check please? Now running late.

  288. Kim says:

    Kindergarten redux: who can follow directions?

  289. Phil F-R says:

    Tiny toothpaste. Will I run out?

  290. Phil F-R says:

    Fascists have nothing better to do?

  291. Nanner says:

    Don’t bogart that water my friend.

    Don’t bogart that wine my friend.

    Don’t bogart that deodorant my friend!

  292. Diane T says:

    Got Glad stock? I got smart.

  293. Diane T says:

    Got Glad Stock? I got rich.

  294. Phil F-R says:

    No Water. No Pepsi. Know peace?

  295. Greg says:

    Three ounce Everclear gets me drunk

  296. Phil F-R says:

    Expensive. Inconvenient. False sense of security.

  297. CF says:

    Ok, thanks for playing everyone. The contest is now closed. Keep visiting Cranky early next week and I’ll post the winners!

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