It’s been several months since we launched Cranky Daily, and we’re now hitting our stride. That’s why I thought it worth a follow-up post to remind those who might have been interested before that (a) we’re still doing this, and (b) you can easily subscribe for a mere $9 a month at crankydaily.com.
Our goal at Cranky Daily is to provide the top five stories of the day — along with some potpourri and Andrew’s moment of levity — all with a heavy dose of snark. What do I mean by that? Here are some recent examples.
On Air Canada’s earnings
Moving forward, Air Canada expects to reduce its Q4 capacity 75% from Q4 in 2019. It expects a cash burn between C$1.1 and C$1.3 billion for the quarter, which amounts to $C12-14 million per day, or roughly what the average resident of Saskatchewan spends on Tim Horton’s coffee in a month.
On the UK’s latest lockdown
For the entirety of the lockdown, which began yesterday and is scheduled to last until December 2, the British government has banned all travel except what it deems as essential. It’s assumed that any and all trips to the pub or to secure more tea for the house are within the definition of essential, as defined by the government and the Queen herself.
On Thai selling some of its fleet
With no airlines currently interested in the airplanes, the airline is exploring all options. Rumors of a 777 being available at a Goodwill store in Southern California are swirling. Thai is also considering “forgetting where it parked” one of the aircraft, and leaving it at the row of chop shops outside of Citi Field in Queens to see if it will be scrapped for parts. Then the airline will try to claim it was stolen and recover the insurance.
On Mesa taking a CARES Act loan
The agreement has two covenants — a minimum collateral coverage ratio and a minimum liquidity level. It also prohibits Mesa from paying dividends during the period until the loan is paid back. In addition, Mesa will be required to complete all its chores, cannot have anyone over after school until its homework is completed, and must drive its little sister to piano practice on Wednesday and Saturday afternoons.
On American expanding its pre-flight COVID testing program
Testing for the three destinations in the Caribbean will begin on November 16. The test is administered by AA’s partner LetsGetChecked, a company that not only conducts COVID testing at-home by a medical professional via a virtual visit, but for only $99 more can throw in a chlamydia and gonorrhea test. With that in mind, we hope this program will be expanded in time for spring break in Florida.
Cranky Daily emails go out every afternoon, Monday through Friday excluding holidays, and give you the quickest way to catch up on the day’s top stories while also getting a laugh.*
*We can’t guarantee laughs. If you don’t find it funny, that’s definitely your fault, not ours.
Remember, it’s only $9 a month, and your support will help provide hungry Cranky employees with meals for a whole week (assuming they only eat Top Ramen for every meal) while we wait for people to start traveling again.
In the immortal words of Bartles & Jaymes, thank you for your support.