Announcing the Five Winners of a Free Copy of “Where the Hell Am I Going?”


It’s been a fun week of reading emails and comments on why you should get a free copy of my book. Some were funny while some were just downright strange. I should note that veiled (or not-so-veiled) threats are usually not going to get you a copy. Also, how is it possible that Where the Hell Am I Goingtwo entries are Romania-related? I must have a huge following there. Sounds like it’s time for me to write about TAROM. But alas, I had to pick the top five, as un-fun as that was. Here they are (in no particular order).

1) Axelsarkis

1. I’m 13. 2. I have no income. 3. I’ve read you blog everyday since I was 11. 4. I like the book. 5. I’m terrible coming with this things, but hey, I tried.

Seriously, did anyone think our 13 year old friend wouldn’t get a copy? He has been reading and commenting here for a long time, and I’ll say that the fact that he has no income is a compelling argument. (Still, Axel, maybe you should ask your parents.) But the groundswell of support for him in the comments showed that he is certainly deserving. I think some are fully expecting a book report from you, Axel. If you write it, I’ll post it here.

2) Kristin

Here is my reason for wanting to win a copy of your book; I live in Canada and says your book is temporarily out of stock! I would be more than happy to purchase your book if I could; even for $15.74 on the Canadian site. Help a Canadian spread your good word and send a copy up here! Still not convinced? Here are some other reasons: 1) I too am an airline geek and love working in the industry 2) My husband’s name is Brett also 3) I forwarded your review of jetBlue’s new snack boxes to at least 20 people at my company

If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s prejudice against Canadians. Ok, that’s not really true. Making fun of Canadians is hilarious, but Amazon shouldn’t be in that business. It is sadly true that well-meaning Canucks are unable to purchase my book since it’s “Temporarily out of stock.” For shame, Amazon. For shame. Take this book and start a maple leaf revolution, Kristin.

3) Dustin H

I would love to have a free copy so that I may bring it with me to the airport. I plan to wear a pilot’s uniform and sit down to read the book in a highly visible area of the boarding gate. Ideally, when passengers walk by and see the title of the book, they will have a minor anxiety attack. Top that off with extra thick glasses and a copy of The Idiot’s Guide to Flying and Gliding and I’m pretty sure I could clear out a terminal.

Now that’s what I’m talking about. A pilot reading a book on where the hell he’s going is a great visual. It reminds me of the excellent Man Show parody of drunk pilots. I want some hidden video, Dustin. Bonus points for passengers who visibly look frightened. (Maybe you could try reading it upside down for maximum effect.)

4) CJ Taylor

I want to take my free copy of your book on my upcoming “around the world” tour as a passenger on the world’s best airlines which i will contract the Cranky Concierge to orchestrate. Once airborne with the volume, I will garner signatures of best wishes to you from members of every cockpit and cabin crew I can manage and on my return, give it back to you as a keepsake since I am now convinced that next to you, I am in the minor league of airline “aficionados.” More than anyone, Brett, you have given me a sense of belonging to a special group of people who possess an innate passion for aircraft types, seat configurations, aerial views, liveries, flight schedules, menus, perks, airport maps, upgrade options, and a myriad other details of the business and pleasure of flying. Congratulations on your new book!

There are a few reasons for picking this one. First, I must admit that I’m not above flattery. Second, I’m pretty stoked about the idea of getting the copy back to me signed by cabin crews on an around the world trip. I’m gonna hold you to it. And last, well, your love for Birmingham is admirable. I’m not above alienating readers from time to time (got a post that’ll most likely do that next week), but not in this case. Enjoy the book.

5) Brett R

I have a 6-week old girl whom I’m told I should be reading to (despite her inability to read, understand english, hold a consistent job, or even focus her eyes for prolonged periods of time. This book would be a great tool to educate her on geographic adventures around our great sphere, in hopes of getting her into prep school at the age of 7 and riding her coattails of success by becoming an overbearing stage father.

I’m all about the importance of strong education, and this one plays to that. (Seriously, I am. I sit on the board of Equitas Academy charter school and have been involved in education for years.) I’m also a huge fan of living off your children. One day, I aspire to such an easy life, though I suppose I’ll need to actually have children first.

So there you have it. The five winners will all get a free copy of my book. For you rest of you, there’s nothing stopping you from buying a copy yourself. Thanks for playing!

Where the Hell Am I Going? paperback via Amazon for $10.79
Where the Hell Am I Going? for Kindle for $9.99

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16 comments on “Announcing the Five Winners of a Free Copy of “Where the Hell Am I Going?”

  1. Hi.
    Couldn’t chance my luck on winning a free book. Bought the Kindle edition last night and plan on reading the book this weekend. Looking forward to it.

  2. Thank you, CF! Do I send you an email with my adress, or pick it up somewhere, or what? I’ll see about writing a report… I’m not the best at writing, but I could try. Thanks again!

  3. Axelsarkis happy reading and we better not find out your the son of a billionaire and could have purchased a truck load of books…

    Kristin really won because her husbands name it Brett right!

    Dustin a little whiskey after shave would help the look…

    CJ thumps up, excellent browing nosing to win. You should write a book :-)

    Brett R (Hmmmm there’s that name again….lol) if your daughter doesn’t get into prep school by age 7, you can sue Brett S because his book slowed her down.

    Congratulations to all the winners. And no I’m not jealous since I didn’t ask for a book. Maybe you should all give a book report.

    1. You do all know I wrote the above in a fun spirit right!

      Your wife works at Disneyland, what does she do there? And you wore an AZ shirt for the book, I knew you really loved them.

      Ok I’m off to the court house now to have my first name changed to Brett. Just getting ready for the next contest…

  4. I ultimately decided against entering the contest for three reasons.
    A) Although I’m convinced I have a good sense of humor, I can never write anything funny when faced with the challenge.
    B) I have eleven bucks
    C) And I view the eleven bucks is a small price to pay for the pleasure of reading CrankyFlier over years, even if the book ends up sucking.
    D) I don’t think the book will suck, but I’m eagerly awaiting my copy in the mail to find out for sure.

  5. My copy is on the way to Kansas from Amazon. Can’t wait to read it, and can’t wait for your next book, “Essays on Why I Love Alitalia.” Have a good weekend, everyone.

  6. I’m happy to see that I’m not the only Romanian reading you. Congratulations to the winners (I should have been one but I wasn’t thanks to my nationality –> U don’t like Romania since you didn’t wrote about last month TAROM joining SkyTeam – joking)!

    1. I wouldn’t say I don’t like Romania. I’ve never been. Hmm, I’m going to have to put together something on TAROM now. Stay tuned.

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