Tom Cruise, Other Aliens Targeted by American’s New Roswell – LA Flights

American, Schedule Changes

Did anyone else catch the press release yesterday announcing that American was starting nonstop service from LAX to Roswell, New Mexico? Yeah, I didn’t think so. This seems like a route that is guaranteed to fail, right? Not so fast.American Starts LA Roswell Flights There’s a lot of traffic going between LA and the UFO-capital of the US.

Just think about it. How many aliens are there living in LA? I mean, we all know that Tom Cruise is an alien, but there are plenty more. Clearly as we learned in Men in Black, there are many other celebrity aliens who call Hollywood home as well. And it’s not just Hollywood. Ever been to Venice Beach on a weekend? Yeah, they’re all aliens too. When you add in connecting opportunites from places like San Francisco (Robin Williams, aka Mork, should be the spokesperson for this flight) and Vegas (Steve Wynn can’t be human), then you’ve got more than enough demand.

They all have to go visit the mother ship from time to time, you know.

I know what you’re thinking. Aren’t those celebrities just going to take their private jets over to Roswell? Oh no. They want to keep a low profile when heading to their masters, so flying commercial is the way to go. Besides, rumors are that American CEO Gerard Arpey is from the planet Oblivion, so he’s more than happy to donate some aircraft time for the cause.

They better just hope that these aliens actually take advantage of this service, because if they don’t, there’s not going to be anyone onboard.

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13 comments on “Tom Cruise, Other Aliens Targeted by American’s New Roswell – LA Flights

  1. I would wager there’s a better chance the Roswell flights are one way flights to retire old AA metal to the desert than leisure flights for Hollywood weirdos.

  2. I read about that before and saw it again yesterday. Four times a week on 44 passenger Embraer jets. And I think only one day of the week you can go roundtrip in the same day. Must be for the aliens to do over night shopping trips to Rodeo Drive, or do a weekend trip to Universal Studio’s or head over to Disneyland to check out Tomorrow Land and have a good laugh at Disney’s idea of “Tomorrow”……lol

  3. slow news day…? This is in the Net SAAver’s for this week out of Chicago. Though it was an interesting add to there schedule.

  4. I think the flights will do well… Roswell has been surprisingly good for AA to DFW. It will be the only westbound service from Roswell.

  5. This looks like a utilization ploy to me, given how the schedule is constructed. Although tying a plane up from 2:55 pm until 8:15 am the next day doesn’t seem like that great of an idea..

  6. If it was any other type of aircraft other than the E135 AA will be operating the route with I’d be against it, but such a small type of aircraft can’t hurt to “experiment” with on such a route.

  7. “Although tying a plane up from 2:55 pm until 8:15 am the next day doesn’t seem like that great of an idea..”

    You didn’t get the secret memo? American Airlines lets ailens install secret passenger probing devices into the seats in the 15 hours that the plane sits on the ground!

    Its American’s latest way of milking money out of passengers, which is the REAL reason this schedule was created!


  8. As far as aliens go what about the Speers family? Brittney & Jamie Lynn without a doubt are from another planet. since we’re on that topic how about Madonna & Paula Abdul? Only aliens can make those dance moves. LOL

  9. One would think a professional blog like The Cranky Flier would have the intelligence to infer that this is a bridge flight to bridge the LAX and DFW RJ bases for maintenance.

  10. No need for a snotty attitude, Ricky. It just cracks me up. So you’re telling me, that I can’t have fun with this because it’s a bridge flight? Please. Anyway, I find it hard to believe this is the best way to flow a plane back into the system. I’d think LAX-GJT, for example, would do much better than ROW, but I’m assuming that ROW offered more money for the flight so that’s where it went.

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