Let’s say you’re flying on a German airline and you’re riding in style up in business class. What would you like to see in the lounge before you go? That’s right, a German beer garden. And now you can. Lufthansa has installed a beer garden in its newly-refurbished Munich lounge, and I love it. They should roll this out to every lounge in the system.
When you’re flying Lufthansa, you’re expecting a German experience. I realize that beer halls are more of a Bavarian thing, so it makes sense it’s in Munich, but I’d like to see that kind of character in lounges all over. I want my airline’s personality to come out from my first interaction, and this certainly does that for Lufthansa.
It got me thinking, what should other airlines be doing with their lounges? Here are some thoughts on lounge design for just a few airlines out there.
- Aeroflot – vodka bar (preferably no flying pilots allowed)
- Air Canada – an igloo with Molson and hockey
- Air New Zealand – sheep farm
- Delta – huge veranda with mint juleps
- Emirates – made of solid gold
- Hawaiian – a lanai
- KLM – four words: red light district, pot
- Spirit – a cardboard box (extra fee for roof)
- TAM – Carnaval!
- Thai – I probably shouldn’t say this one out loud
Gimme some more in the comment section. I know you guys have ’em lined up.
BA: a traditional English pub, of course, complete with binge drinkers
Aer Lingus: a Guinness brewery
Air France: Les Folies Bergère, complete with dancers
Qantas: a barbie, with shrimp
Air China: probably involves lots of Baijiu, with frequent shouts of g?nb?i (??, literally “dry glass”). Dangerous.
I think you mean a luau. Lanai’s the name of one of the Hawai’ian islands, isn’t it?
Singapore Airlines would probably have all of the above, but limit it entirely to diamond and solitare PPS members flying first class only. Everyone else gets nothing.
No, I meant a lanai. While Lanai is one of the Hawai’ian islands, it is also a name for a covered patio.
Here in Arizona we call a lanai an “Arizona room.”
Isn’t that what they call a Florida room too?
Mint Juleps are for sissies.
Delta’s lounges should either be beer joints which serve Budweiser in longneck bottles or honkytonks which serve bourbon and Cokes.
On second thought, scratch that. I think I like your idea better…
I think you mean a luau. Lanai’s the name of one of the Hawai’ian islands, isn’t it?
Singapore Airlines would probably have all of the above hotelslines.com, but limit it entirely to diamond and solitare PPS members flying first class only. Everyone else gets nothing.
CLT – Barbeque joint
PHL – Cheese steaks
PHX – Mexican w/ margaritas and Coronas
The PHX lounge will only allow people that can present valid proof of citizenship to enter, specially if you have brown skin.
See, first thought that came to mind for USAirways was an S&M lounge, because the cabin crew are SOOOOOO grumpy, and you have to be a masochist to want to fly them….
I’m all for that. Especially if they make sure I make my flight.
Hmm but they’d all have to be the lowest common deminator. Clean, but no frills.
So basically fast food joint versions of them all.
Seeing that LH is the only foreign carrier with a lounge in ATL, I fully support this idea.
Southwest could set up a cattle ranch.
JetBlue could set up a room for you to yell obnoxiously loud on your cell phone over the sound of taxis and sirens.
US could attempt to deport you if you have an accent.
They should roll this out to every lounge in the system.
WHAT!!!!!!!!!…….Enticing passengers with alcohol would probably increase the amount of INTOXICATED PASSENGERS trying to board flights. BAD IDEA.
NW/DL/CO in prior years had all-you-can drink adult beverages in their club rooms…
Frank, you must chill!
MOST Air-rage cases involve alcohol. And, that’s MY Workplace.
Not all ”ADULTS” know when to quit, isnt that right? Rafael/Dan.
Last thing I want on a airplane is a DRUNK.
Air Jamaica – an empty rum bottle.
Southwest could have a friendly little watering hole serving Herb’s favorite, Wild Turkey! I realize they don’t have lounges, but if they did, that should be the drink of choice. The atmosphere could just be that friendly, warm, slightly rowdy Texas hospitality reflective of SWA’s corporate culture.
And I love the Spirit idea :)
“warm, slightly rowdy Texas hospitality…”
Here, have another drink of Kool-Aid. On second thought, maybe not. I think you’ve had too much.
The only possible choice for a Southwest Airlines pre-boarding lounge would be to model it precisely after a Greyhound bus terminal.
a TRAILER PARK
Iberia: Tapas, paellas and Flamenco dancers for entertainment
Southwest: Wild Turkey and all the peanuts you can eat
Alitalia should set up a wine cellar and tasting room…and then to complete the Alitalia experience, never have it open, and have all the employees strike.
So far it looks like KLM would become the most traveled airline if they had Cranky’s idea of a lounge…..lol
Frontier – Rocky Mountain Oysters and Coors
United: Deep-dish pizza, peanuts, and bad beer imported from Wisconsin.
American: Women with too much make-up and long fingernails serving red-meat appetizers.
Air Canada: Decent snacks, but it takes twice as long to get served because by law the employees have to respond and ask questions in both English and French every time they speak.
JFK A Little Italy lounge, BOS a baked bean lounge equipped with plenty of bino.
Deep dish pizza lounges
A Texas chilli lounge. Same for Southwest.
Gang bangers from Newerk dressed in uniforms from the Indians overtaking Intercontenental Airport
Aerolineas Argentinas: Thick beef dinners, empanadas, then Tango dancers down the aisles. Must start at 11:30pm on overnight flights and go til 4am.
When on strike the tango dancers can protest in jetway and block access to the plane.
Well, Thai already offers massages for premium customers – including the full body works (not just the ubiquitous head, neck, back) for first class pax… One particularly memorable flight in the old BKK airport, I was enjoying a massage when a particularly obese and loud American rocked up and asked for his massage. The one masseur on duty pointed at me and said he would have to wait his turn… and she basically kept working on me until he left the lounge ;-) Almost an hour long, and she had quite a creative definition of where my back ended and… ! Was that what you had in mind, Cranky?!
Ryanair: There might be a lounge, but you’d have to pay for it, you’d had adverts playing every few minutes, scratchcards on sale and vodka in mini-bags
EasyJet: It’ll be Orange. Nuff said? Of course everything must be paid for…
Iberia: Tapas and flamenco dancing!
BMI: Flock wallpaper and images of London. (true alas – The new London Room Lounge at T1…)
IcelandAir – Spewing Volcano with Lava Flows and Ash Cloud!
Lounges in LAX and SFO could overpay their employees and then declare bankruptcy or ask for a bailout.
A lot of these are begining to get really stupid. I thought the idea behind the blog was to find a theme that would represent the airline and/or the national carriers home country in lounges around the world in a fun way (i.e. KLM).
Davis SFeastbay, most of the good ones were taken. I wanted to say something about SAA, but then they already call them Baobab and Cycad, so they may already have some local flavour –but I have not visited one yet.
Hrmmm, maybe you can be handed a toy AK-47 when you enter a Mexicana lounge and instead a salt shakers there’s a pig pile of salt that looks like cocaine?
As for AC, none of their lounges have anything like the Lufthansa Biergarten but several have a self-serve tap for pouring local beer. Alas, here in Winnipeg something must have happened and it’s no longer For Garry, just Guinness.
I’ve visited the SAA lounges in Joburg and they have very little local flavor – but they do have cool names!
Control issues much?
Here’s one for you, David SFEastBay: have a lounge where you can only get in if you have a medical marajuana card, haven’t showered in 3 months, and buy carbon credits to offset the lounge’s pollution.
So you thought Cranky’s New Zealand sheep farm was a serious contender?
How about one from my part of the world – Saudi Arabian Airlines – the Camel Lounge – it is a tent where the temperature is kept at 120 degrees – no alcohol and no women allowed – and it closes 5 times a day for prayer time.
Oh, wait – I think that might be a real lounge!
Ryanair: The Coin Purse Room.
10 euro to enter, 5 euro for a chair, 1 euro to use the toilet, 12 euro to hit the buffet…2 more euros for a plate…1 more for utensils.
–and another euro to leave? :-D
oh i forgot that one!!
and its 5 euro for a chair….9 euro for a chair with legs.
*all prices subject to increase forty-fold when the euro is devalued and pegged to the Argentine Peso this summer*
No mint juleps and veranda for Dultah, since they are trying to “win in NY” they need to drop the Southern thing and focus on being hip, cosmopolitan, etc. Maybe they should hire someone who runs NY’s hottest bars to re-design the tacky lounges? (Oh, wait I think they did that for the onboard drinks ;))
Alitalia at Milan & Rome-
A sleek, modern lounge featuring the best in Italian design. Wines from the great regions of the country, salumi, a pasta bar, olive selections, staff attired in designer fashions…
But wait, it’s closed. Everyone is on strike.
Unless you give some bills with not too few zeros to the striking staff. Or, of course, you have family in southern Italy and *politely*make the staff aware of what your family there does for a living..
Alaska Airlines-Smoked Salmon
Fronter-Ice Cold Coors
ANA-Ice Cold Kirin Beer and Sushi
TAP: Port wine and pork rinds
Air India: Bollywood Lounge
Iberia: Flamenco Room
Qantas: The Backyard Barbie
Japan Airlines: The Pokemon Club and/or The Hello Kitty Korner
SAS: Pickled herring lounge. Mmm.
Southwest – Wild Turkey, Dr. Pepper, peanuts (free)
Delta- Jack Daniels, Coca-Cola, peanuts (fee)
LAN – Great wines & Pisco Sour, decorated with Easter Island theme style.
Branson Airport could have a lounge where terrible singers that you could have sworn had died 10 years ago perform, and you eat piles of awful bland food, no alcohol and you have to go to bed by 8 PM.
Oh, wait, the entire town of Branson already has that…
very nice drink in bear garden woo
United— A poster on the wall with a list of their longest “Late Flights” surrounded by pictures of the Ugly Betty STEWS serving on their planes. You know the base group that causes Cranky Passengers
Iceland air – A money powered smoke chamber that makes every businessman so stinky that he cannot work for the rest of the week… volcanic and bailout feeling. :-)
Actually Air New Zealand has a kiwi bach theme in most of their own lounges. A bach is a (very basic) holiday home.
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