Let’s face it. The holidays are here and the number of out of office replies I’m seeing keep rising. So let’s finish out this week with something light. How about some airplane porn?

United is an airline that has had some of the best, historical color schemes (aka liveries) on its airplanes. Because of that, it’s always been frustrated that the airline was never willing to paint an airplane in the colors of yesteryear. (I suppose the gray colors that still adorn many of the airplanes can be considered retro by now.) But that’s finally changing. And this little beauty is going to be gracing the skies sometime soon. (Actually, it’s probably going to be on an Airbus, but you get the idea.)

United actually put this to a vote and got huge turnout. This livery, better known as the Stars and Bars, captured a full third of all votes. And it’s going to look fantastic, but to be honest, my preference would have been for another. That’s right, I’m partial to the livery that introduced the United tulip, the one that dominated my childhood. You probably know it as the impossible mix of blue, red, and orange – colors that do not come together in nature. But every time I see a picture of a DC-10 in those colors, it instantly makes me think it’s time to go to Hawai’i. But hey, I love the Stars and Bars as well so it’s all good.

I’m heading out for the holidays today, hoping that the water in our house dries up. (That’s what happens when you get half your annual rainfall in one week.) Merry Christmas to those of you who celebrate. See you back here next week.

It’s been way too long since we’ve had some good airplane porn here on Cranky, so I couldn’t resist when I saw British Airways put the airline’s last 757 into this stunning retro paint job.

I mean, seriously. Why would they ever change these colors? While I did also really like the next Landor-produced colors, it all went downhill with the whole “World Tails” thing. I think Maggie Thatcher said it best.

We fly the British flag, not these awful things.

Amen. BA got away from these and the Landor colors because it seemed too stuffy and British in their eyes. But that’s why we love BA (and Britain in general), right? It’s called character, and the old colors conveyed that well. While the newest colors have returned to flying the British flag, it no longer has that same regal look.

So why are they doing this? Well, BA was the launch customer for the 757 and put it into service way back in 1983 (in these colors). The airplane has served the airline well since then, but at the end of this month, the 757 will be retired for good with the airline. BA has been kind enough to give it the 757 a farewell tour.

This particular airplane, registered G-CPET, is a young pup, delivered in May 1998. It still has plenty of life and will find work elsewhere, but for now, the last flight with BA is scheduled for October 30. Enjoy it while it’s still flying around in these colors.

Guess what time it is, kids? It’s airplane p*rn time! (Yes, that’s now with an asterisk to try to circumvent corporate filters.) You know how much I love airplane p*rn, and we’ve got two good ones this week with JetBlue and AirTran. Let’s start with JetBlue.

The buzz started last week that JetBlue would be rolling out a brand new livery for its whole fleet in celebration of the airline’s upcoming 10th anniversary. It turns out the hype was a little too much for what it actually was, and in my mind that’s a good thing. It wasn’t so much a new livery as it is a tweak on the old one. And really, what was wrong with the old one? Not much. But they made some good improvements. Take a look. First, they rolled out a new tail to add to their family of tails.

I like this one. The white on the tail makes it stand out, and it fits the brand very well. This will just be a new tail to add to the stable, so it will go on some airplanes, just like all the existing tails. But they also made changes to the rest of the airplane.

Can’t tell the difference? Let me refresh your memory.

The changes are small. The little Jetblue titles are now much bigger and visible. Also, the two tone gray/blue title is now all blue. I think it makes the name more recognizable, and that’s good. Also, you’ll notice that the website on the engines has morphed from www.jetblue.com to jetblue.com and it’s bigger as well. So, not really any huge changes but they didn’t need them.

This is a good change. It will be rolled out very slowly. When planes go into the paint shop, they’ll get the tweaks (not necessarily the tail), so it will take awhile. And there will be more tails coming. An employee contest will be held to design a new one. Let’s just hope they do better than when America West let a kid design the Teamwork plane. That was awful.

But if you want to see a truly spectacular new livery, look no further than AirTran which has painted a 717 in the colors of the Atlanta Falcons. This thing looks like a rocket, and the new black fuselage is just awesome. It’s too bad this is only on a 717. That means we won’t see it out here in LA.

AirTran sent me these pictures, but I have no idea why they didn’t send one of a full body shot. Click here to see a great shot from Mario Rodriguez of the airplane taking off (or should I say, launching).

I’m going light on my post today since it’s officially a holiday here in the US. What better way to kick off the holiday weekend than with a little airplane porn?

This time, there actually is a person involved, but fortunately, he is fully clothed. Apparently, AirTran is really happy that Mark Malkoff made it through June without a hitch. This has been great publicity for the airline and its wifi efforts, and they’ve decided to commemorate the event with a giant picture of Mark, literally on AirTran.

That’s Mark’s wife, who appears to be rather happy to have her husband back despite the fact that he hasn’t seen a shower since May.

I hope everyone enjoys their 4th here in the US. (And for my British readers, I hope you aren’t still too bitter – it has, after all, been more than 230 years. You know we still love you.)

It’s Memorial Day, and I’m not up for doing a full post today. We had a barbecue last night with a bunch of friends, and I’m exhausted. So instead, I thought I’d offer a slight twist on an old favorite. This time, instead of airplane porn, we have Zeppelin porn.

That’s right. Airship Ventures brought their Zeppelin down to Long Beach this past week for flightseeing tours and I was able to hitch a ride on one. What an incredibly cool experience. I’ll have more on it tomorrow, but for now, I’ll leave you with this shot of the Zeppelin (advertising Pixar’s new movie, Up) flying away at the end of our trip.