Screw It – Let’s Lighten Things Up with the Playmobil Security Checkpoint

It’s been a heck of a week. Nice of Frontier to cap it off with a Chapter 11 filing last night, huh? I’m a little nervous about this one. They say they filed because the credit card processor increased the holdback significantly. It’s no surprise. With all these other airlines going under, the credit card guys are getting nervous that they’ll be left holding the bag again, so they want more of a cushion. Meanwhile, that means Frontier had to throw together a bankruptcy filing and now hope they can find Debtor-in-Possession (DIP). If they can, then they’ll reorganize. If they can’t, well, they’ll join the rest of the guys in the graveyard. For now, nothing changes while they sort things out. We’ll see what happens.

So I say let’s forget this crap for now. I’m ending the week on a lighter note. 08_04_11 playmobilI’m very sad to report that the Playmobil Security Checkpoint is no longer available on Amazon. This is a bummer, because it provided some pretty impressive inspiration for the 47 customer reviews. These are definitely worth a read.

Some of the highlights . . .

“I was a little disappointed when I first bought this item, because the functionality is limited. My 5 year old son pointed out that the passenger’s shoes cannot be removed. Then, we placed a deadly fingernail file underneath the passenger’s scarf, and neither the detector doorway nor the security wand picked it up.”

“I especially appreciated the enclosed signed photo of Michael Chertoff and his letter explaining how necessary it is to start educating today’s youth early with toys like these, especially as their elders just don’t seem to be taking the whole thing seriously”

“I applaud Playmobile for attempting to provide us with the tools we need to teach our children to unquestioningly obey the commands of the State Security Apparatus, but unfortunately, this product falls short of doing that. There’s no brown figure for little Josh to profile, taser, and detain? Where are all the frightened plastic Heartlanders pointing at the brown figure as they whisper “terrorist?” Where are the hippy couple figures being denied boarding passes? And shouldn’t someone be forcing a mother figure to drink her own breast milk?”

“Unfortunately, this toy comes short in a few areas:
1) It does not show that if you’re rich, you don’t have to wait in line for hours. If you can travel first class, you get your own fast-track screening. Too bad the terr’ists have plenty of Saudi and Pakistani cash and can easily travel first class should they want to. They should have included another screening set in the box.
2) It does not come with the 300 tired-looking playmobils you would need to show the passengers waiting in line behind the screening area. “

“I wish this toy had been around when I was a child so that we might have learned important life lessons rather than the fluffy sugar-coated false utopia of Rainbow Bright and Friends.”

Come to think of it, this may not really be much of a lighter note after all. Ugh. I’m taking the weekend off this week. See you back here on Monday.

15 Responses to Screw It – Let’s Lighten Things Up with the Playmobil Security Checkpoint

  1. rekha says:

    Thank you so much for sharing this. Made my morning.

  2. CS says:

    Hope you enjoy your weekend!

    When you’re back, I’m wondering what impact (if any) the current credit/lending fiasco has had on the airlines and the recent crop of bankruptcies. Is it more difficult for them to get loans to balance cash flow, and that’s one reason why the holdback increases were a fatal blow to Frontier? (sorry if that is a dumb question)

  3. Lucky says:

    Absolutely hilarious, thanks for a great laugh Cranky!

  4. Bryan in San Francisco says:

    my fav comment was the one about fast-track screening. so true. so true.

  5. Jason H says:

    Bryan: Really? Only the rich get fast track screening? I don’t think so. Some of us aren’t rich, but instead are blessed (or cursed) with flying more than 100,000 miles a year and get that screening because of the status our travel garners us.

  6. Chris says:

    Frontier and Playmobile all at once… it is a sad day:(

  7. The question is, do they need DIP financing? Sounds like they have the cash on hand, they just would’ve been unable to function without the continual cash flow from the CC Processing..

    Oh and @#*($@*# First Data.

  8. CS: The holdback increases were such a fatal blow to Frontier because they had a tight cash situation. Basically they were spending the money that was being charged for future flights on today’s obligations. In other words they were doing the business equivelent of living paycheck to paycheck.

  9. Tucano Bandeirante says:

    Nice way to end the week, Cranky. And maybe Frontier needs to just die, since we still have way too much capacity. Do you think anyone will come forward with DIP financing?

  10. CF says:

    You never know, Tucano. Finding capital these days is VERY hard to do, but if someone believes in the Frontier business plan, they might jump in.

  11. Oliver says:

    Tucano, if we “still have way too much capacity”, why are there constant reports about planes filled to the gills?

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  13. Chuck says:

    My favorite TSA parody is the TSA Gangstaz on YouTube, even though it’s definitely on the NSFW side of things:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7AWw7t5zj0

    Great post to end a rough week on. God, I haven’t seen a week like this since 9/11.

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  15. Frozennerd says:

    Why does the guy sitting at the bag scanner look like he is with the German SS?

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