Over at Cranky Concierge, we’ve been booking a lot of so-called “mileage runs” for clients this month. This happens at the end of every year, but I think we had our most extreme this year where someone needed 36,000 miles and we sent him to Africa and Asia within a few days. Ever wonder how people get to this level of madness? And wait, what is a mileage run anyway? Geoff Fischer (read his previous guest posts) is back with a story about how he became a mileage-runner.

This week is going to be a light one. No post tomorrow, so this one is extra long to last you two days. Hah. Happy holidays.
–

It all started innocently enough in December 2004. I noticed that I was likely to end the year about 1,000 miles short of both Premier Executive status on United and MVP Gold on Alaska. I didn’t have time for another work trip or vacation, but it seemed a shame to let all the year’s flying “go to waste” by failing to reach those elite tiers. Even worse was the thought of entering 2005 as a lowest-rung elite on my two most frequent carriers, missing out on the upgrades and other perks that were so tantalizingly close. I’d heard about mileage runs – flying solely for the sake of racking up miles. These were the circumstances that first led me to contemplate doing one myself.

Year 1
It took a bit of searching to find a destination appropriately far away with reasonable one-way fares. I eventually found good deals on midweek flights to and from Vegas. I wanted to minimize the cost and time away from home and work, so a morning out, afternoon back day trip seemed best. It was $84 for Seattle-Las Vegas on Alaska, and $88 for the return via LAX on United. (I had to return via LAX instead of SFO not for the fare, but because I needed the extra 275 miles.) No, I wouldn’t hit a casino or see a show – I wouldn’t even leave the airport. I had two hours in Vegas to switch terminals and grab some lunch in between.

Flying just to turn around and fly back is surely a bizarre concept to some – probably even many – but it made perfect sense to me. The $200 I’d be spending (including parking, gas, etc.) seemed well worth the comfort of elite status for 2005. So I booked it for a Tuesday, took the day off work, and it went as smoothly possible. I got upgraded to First Class on the Alaska flight down, and had Economy Plus seats on flights back. I made it through a bunch of magazines and other reading material I’d saved up. The United agent looked at me quizzically when I showed up at the gate without a boarding pass, but I explained I’d come in on another airline. The biggest hassle ended up being the incessant slot machine noise by the Ted gates as I waited to board. (It’s a unique form of torture having to hear “WHEEL! OF!! FORTUNE!!!” a thousand times in a row.)

Year 2
A year later, I found myself in a similar position. I had qualified on Alaska but was going to be short about 2,000 miles on United. No time for vacation, and the nonstop flights from Seattle to SFO or LAX wouldn’t earn enough miles – so I had to get creative. I ended up finding that United had cheap midweek fares on connections via SFO to a few smaller Northwest cities. And so for $134 I landed a Tuesday day trip to Boise. I thought that seemed cool, since it was both an airport and a state I’d never been in. Never mind that the scheduled time on the ground in Idaho was barely 45 minutes, as I was flying the same regional jet SFO to Boise and back to SFO. Again, all went smoothly. I got to experience the bathroom and free Wi-Fi at the Boise airport, and secured status for 2006. Win-win.

Year 3
I started to get more selective and picky as I moved from novice mileage runner to intermediate. In March 2007 I was doing a “status challenge” on Alaska, where I needed to fly 8 segments in a certain amount of time to re-obtain MVP Gold status. Trips for work and pleasure got me six of the eight, so all I needed was a cheap, quick roundtrip “segment run”. I was able to find a few options for about $125, but all involved regional jets. While flying to Pasco or Walla Walla had some novelty, I convinced myself it was worth spending more for the comfort of flying a mainline 737-800 to Spokane. I’d never been there either, and with a first class cabin there was a chance I’d get upgraded even as a lowly (not for long!) MVP. So I laid out $165 for a roundtrip from Seattle to Spokane, and did another same-plane turn-around. Got the upgrades both ways and only had to take a few hours off of work.

It Gets Serious
Things got more complicated a few years later. My last business trip of the year was to LA, but a mere roundtrip from Seattle was not going to yield the 5,000 miles I needed no matter how I connected. This time it was United 1K status on the line – the stakes were higher, and more creativity (and spend) was going to be needed. Work obligations meant I didn’t have flexibility on the front end of the trip, but I could route myself however I wanted on the way home. I tried all sorts of circuitous paths via New York, Florida and hubs and spokes in between. It took a fair bit of searching before I honed in on Honolulu. It was a no-brainer: great weather, 767 and 777 widebody service, and upgrades that could be confirmed in advance. Work paid for the flight down to LAX and I paid $386 for LAX-Honolulu-SFO-Seattle. This time I even cashed in some hotel points and stuck around for two whole nights. I spent time on the beach, got to see the Pearl Harbor memorial, and had a pretty good time sipping Mai-Tais and knowing that my status was secure for one more year.

Going Intercontinental
Flash forward just a few months and things looked pretty dire as I looked at my mileage balance the next November. I wasn’t just a few hundred or thousand miles short of 1K. I was going to be more than 20,000 miles short. The rationalization began quickly. I’d worked really hard that year. Hadn’t splurged on anything in a while. I had vacation time to use, though I had been planning to spend Christmas and New Year’s with my family and didn’t have a big trip in mind. Well that changed quickly. Suddenly a trip to Thailand and Singapore seemed like a great idea. One big problem was that upgrades weren’t confirmable. Without giving it much thought I clicked the dropdown box and changed my search from “Economy” fares to “Business.” With that one click, the addiction grew to a new level.

It turned out that there were “discounted” Business class tickets available over the holidays. Not cheap by any means, but cheaper than the rest of the year. And they earn a 50% status mileage bonus, which meant that the 17,000 miles of actual flying would net over 25,000 status miles, getting me over the all-important 100,000 mile mark. I made a trip out of it. Well, as much of a trip as I could since I was forced to fly back before New Year’s in order for the miles to count toward that year. It ended up being seven nights. I had a blast. Turns out the beaches of Thailand are a wonderful place to spend Christmas, though mom still hasn’t forgiven me for being AWOL. It was also my introduction to Singapore, which I loved (and have since been back to for a more proper visit).

This Year, Qatar
So over a decade of flying with various levels of elite status, I’d resorted to mileage runs five times, at increasing levels of extremity. Which brings me to this year. Things are a lot different for me – I moved to a new city for a new job that doesn’t leave me with much time off, and my flying for work has sadly been cut down significantly. Any hope of qualifying for another year as a United 1K was pretty much gone by late springtime. It took a lot of creative weekend trips throughout the year to even get close to hitting the 50,000 mile threshold for mid-level Gold status. And while even my addict’s brain (eventually) accepted that 1K was out of range this year, that didn’t stop it from urging me on to see if I couldn’t find some way to at least get to 75,000 miles for Platinum status.

This year missing Christmas with family wasn’t an option, which meant I’d have to squeeze it in to just a few days. The most comfortable option I found was Tokyo, with several 747 flights on my dates with confirmable upgrades. But I’ve been to Tokyo several times. And I love it, but it isn’t exactly a great winter destination. And it was going to cost $2,200. That was less than the splurge trip to Thailand but more than I could justify this year. A sign that I was recovering from my airline status addiction? Not really. I kept looking (as much as it pained me to pass up flying on the upper deck of the 747), focusing on dots on the United route map I hadn’t been to.

I considered Istanbul and even Lagos before finding Doha. United flies it in a 777 as a continuation of its Washington DC to Dubai flight. I’ve never been there, and the late-December weather seems good. And in a quirk of airline pricing, the fares were even cheaper to go on to Doha than to get off in Dubai. Proving that my addiction is as powerful as ever, I booked it the other day despite having to waitlist for upgrades on the 7,069 mile IAD-DXB-IAD flights. (They did clear later, thankfully.)

When I do the math and say out loud that it’s 47 hours of total travel time for 50 hours on the ground in a random place halfway around the world, I realize that it’s crazy. Those were going to be looooooong flights in coach if they hadn’t cleared. Heck, they’re long flights even in Business class. But I’ll get to catch up on some movies I haven’t seen, and see a new place…. and I’ll have Platinum status next year!

But alas, I know too well that euphoria is short lived. Once that mileage counter resets to zero on January 1, the cycle starts all over again. Once you’re hooked on status, the thought – and sometimes necessity – of a mileage run is usually just a year away.

–
Geoff Fischer is an aviation and travel enthusiast currently living in the Dallas/Ft Worth area.

[Map via Great Circle Mapper]

Geoff is back, following up his Emirates shower experience with another long trip report about the best flight he’s ever had. I thought it would be good to give you a little (or, actually, a lot) quality reading material for a Wednesday when the blog is usually dark. Enjoy.

As you may remember from my report here about taking a shower onboard the Emirates A380, I’m really into premium cabin flying. Mostly thanks to frequent flier miles I’ve managed to sample international First Class on a wide array of carriers and aircraft types. That’s a lot of caviar and champagne and flat bed suites — and a lot of great memories and stories. I often get asked which was my favorite airline or airplane, or my best flight, and in the past I have found it hard to pick one.

My favorite airport experience? Hands down it’s Lufthansa’s First Class Terminal in Frankfurt, an entirely separate building that is a giant luxury lounge, and from which you are driven onto the tarmac and directly to your plane like a rockstar.

My favorite whimsical cabin feature? The Emirates A380 shower, which turned out to be as cool to do as it is to say you’ve done.

But earlier this year I had a flight experience that was exceptional from beginning to end. Everything from the seat to the service to the food and drink to the entertainment system was fantastic. Despite all seats being occupied, I spent most of the flight entirely oblivious to anyone else being on board. And after spending over *15 hours* on this airplane, I was still in such a state of sybarite bliss when we got to the gate that I wished I didn’t have to get off — which had never happened even after the best of my best flights before.

So now I have a clear-cut answer to the question: First Class on Cathay Pacific’s 777.

The Backstory
I’d flown Hong Kong-based Cathay Pacific on short flights within Asia in the past, and was very impressed. Singapore Airlines and Cathay are often considered top Asian carriers, and after having finally flown Singapore in First Class last year I decided I had to try Cathay’s longhaul First Class to compare.

Cathay is a partner of Alaska Airlines, and so for a lot of Alaska miles and $90 in taxes I was set, a fantastic value compared to the five-figure retail cost. My outbound flight was S.F. to Hong Kong on a 777-300ER, which has a small six-seat First Class cabin in a two row 1-1-1 configuration. The center seats open onto the right side aisle; since I was traveling alone I was pleased to be able to reserve Seat 1A, which maximized privacy and minimized noise from other passengers. Unlike Singapore’s “Book the Cook”, there is no fancy pre-ordering system for meals on Cathay, so once I was ticketed there was nothing more to do than look forward to the trip.

The Flight
Waking up on the morning of an international First Class flight I always feel giddy like a kid on Christmas.
There were great views of SFO as usual on the quick train ride over from the rental car facility, and as we arrived our aircraft was just pulling up to the gate.

I snapped a quick pic of it, and then decided to venture outside and get a shot of my favorite terminal building in the U.S., the decade-old SFO International, which still looks as great inside and out as when it first opened in December 2000.

Then it was inside and over to Cathay check-in. There was no wait at the First Class check-in counter, where a friendly agent checked my bag and handed me my boarding pass. After some shopping at the cool SF MoMA store I used the priority security lane for premium cabin passengers and was through in an uneventful ten minutes. From there it’s just a short walk to the British Airways lounge that Cathay uses.

The lounge has a main area for Business Class passengers with self-service bars and a buffet, and a separate small First Class room with its own food and drink. Both have great views out to widebody aircraft being fueled and loaded just a few feet away, and on this day both were teeming with passengers. I staked out the one unclaimed couch in the First Class room and helped myself to some sparkling water and dumplings. I picked up an SF Chronicle to read on the plane, and killed some time using one of the Internet terminals. A lounge attendant circulated picking up trash and keeping the food area stocked and tidy.

The lounge isn’t particularly fancy, but it was clean and decently comfortable. In addition to the views, the other great feature is that you board directly from the lounge without having to go back out to the gate. When boarding began about 40 minutes before departure there was a PA announcement, and a long line formed. No one came to whisk me to the front, so I waited in the line, and in five minutes was headed down the jetway…

---

Cathay #879 Lv San Francisco 1208p Arr Hong Kong 730p (next day)
SFO: Gate A6, Runway 28R, Depart 13m Late
HKG: Gate 66, Runway 25R, Arrive 25m Late
Boeing 777-300ER, B-KPG (delivered Feb 2008)
Seat 1A, 6/6 F Suites Occupied
Flight Time 14h44m

The Christmas morning feeling was back as I arrived at my seat and got my bearings. The cabin was gleaming on the three year-old aircraft. There are no overhead bins in First Class, which gives an airy feel. Instead, there’s room to stow bags under the ottoman end of the seat as well as a personal closet built into the side of the suite in which you can hang your jacket and clothes and store other items.

Photo taken by Flyertalk’s SFO777 and shows seat 1F. You can read his detailed trip report here.

As I was getting settled, a flight attendant came by and greeted me by name. She brought a pillow, removed its protective wrapping and handed it to me, and took my pre-departure drink order. She was soon back with a bottle of Krug Grande Cuvee and an elegant and large glass champagne flute, and executed a flawless restaurant-style pour holding the bottle from the bottom. Off to a good start, indeed.

While I was familiarizing myself with the seat controls her colleagues were by with the amenity kit, Shanghai Tang pajamas and slippers, newspapers and magazines, a water bottle, and an elegant washcloth-style hot towel. My glass was topped up and then I was presented with the menu and wine list, with the flight attendant going out of her way to let me know that I could dine “at my pleasure” and was not forced into any set meal order or timing.

As we pushed back and taxied out I took stock of the seat, which was very comfortable in seat mode (you’d be surprised – some flat bed seats are great as beds but lousy as seats). My legs fully extended were just resting on the ottoman, which is an impressive amount of room since I am 6’4″. The seat is 36″ wide, but unlike Singapore’s similarly ultra-wide seat, the space doesn’t feel wasted. This is partly because the Cathay seat has a great fold-down armrest console and also because the Cathay seat is 10″ longer than Singapore’s and its proportions just work better. There’s a storage compartment built into the window ledge as well as storage on the ledge itself, and another handy compartment for magazines and water bottles just below the massive 17″ entertainment screen.

SFO777′s wife in seat 2F. You can see just how wide the seat is, and the strap for lowering the armrest console is just visible below the pillow to the right of her shoulder.

With a long take off roll and a few shimmies we took off to the west, and as soon as the wheels were up the cabin was impressively quiet. The FAs were up quickly to set up the galley, and soon the Inflight Service Manager (Purser) came by to welcome me on board. I had mentioned to her colleague earlier that it was my first longhaul flight on Cathay, which the ISM acknowledged saying that her staff would make sure it was a memorable experience. It was the kind of pleasantry I’d heard dozens of times, but the rare case in which the promise was truly delivered.

My lunch order was soon taken and not long after another glass of champagne had been brought, the FA was back to set my table. On top of the massive and sturdy tray table went a linen tablecloth, and then she individually laid out each service item elegantly and with precise attention to detail and placement. Along with the basics (silverware, salt and pepper shakers, water glass, butter dish, etc.) was a “Bon Appetit” card with a handwritten and personalized note from the crew inside. I thought the set-up was impressive… and then the first course arrived.

Only a few airlines still serve caviar in First Class, and yet Cathay apparently decided that caviar alone isn’t enough, as along with the caviar and its garnishes were two large sashimi-style pieces of smoked salmon. Toast points were brought to supplement my personal bread basket, as was a lemon served on its own dish. It all tasted as great as it looked, and while the caviar part was similar to what is served on Singapore, the delicious smoked salmon really put Cathay’s presentation over the top.

After that was cleared came the salad course. The combination of king crab, teardrop tomatoes and dried cranberries may sound a bit odd, but it was excellent.

Everything was fresh and it was so much more interesting and tasty than the typical airplane salad with some shaved parmesan on top of a pile of wilted greens.

After each course the flight attendant checked on my drink and brought out the appropriate silverware for the following course. The pacing was just right; I never felt rushed nor sat long waiting. Every request I made was graciously and quickly fulfilled. Next came the fennel and apple soup, which like the previous courses was truly restaurant quality.

Further credit for smart seat design comes from how easy it is to get up even while the tray is out. The tray slides forward and back, and there is plenty of room on the aisle side of the seat. I made a quick visit to the lavatory which was spotless; what it didn’t have that Singapore does have are a hands-free sink and a floor pedal to open the trash bin. (A minor quibble – but hopefully we’ll see both standard on all airplanes soon.)

When I returned it was time for my entree, and the FA insisted on offering me a tasting pour of both white wines, the Estancia Reserve 2007 Chardonnay and the Meursault 2006. I chose the French to go with my lobster and crab ravioli. The wine was excellent; the entree was the only part of the meal that was “just okay” by restaurant standards, which meant that for airplane food it was well above average.

Before dessert I had my arm twisted into sampling some of the four cheeses on offer, with fancy crackers and grapes on the side. Then came bread pudding with chocolate sauce and vanilla ice cream, accompanied by a small glass of special vintage Sauternes. And after that bacchanal, there were pralines accompanying the fancy coffee service, in which the sugar cubes had their own plate. It took every ounce of restraint not to sample the Johnny Walker Blue Label or Glenfiddich Reserve Single Malt, but this was a marathon not a sprint, and I stuck with coffee and water.

At this point there was still 12 hours of flying time remaining – which I knew because the countdown and local time at destination are thoughtfully displayed on the entertainment system’s remote, a smart touch. Once my tray was cleared and I was duly refreshed by another hot towel, I reclined about two-thirds back and pulled the entertainment screen out on its telescoping arm to position it for prime viewing. Cathay claims there are 100+ movies and 500+ TV shows in its on-demand system, and I had little trouble finding things to watch, starting with “The Social Network”, then the old Leo DiCaprio movie “The Beach” and then episodes of recent TV shows. The navigation and controls were fairly intuitive and the noise cancelling headset was comfortable and effective.

As great as it was having a sated belly, a comfortable seat and good entertainment, what made this experience unique compared to my most memorable flights on other airlines (and even my later experiences on Cathay’s 747) was the remarkably private and quiet cabin environment. All six seats were occupied, but because the center seats open onto the right aisle and have a privacy wall on the left side, the only times I saw another passenger while seated were the few times that the one guy behind me got up to go to the bathroom. There was a bit of foot traffic from flight attendants going back and forth, but more than any other flight I’ve been on, I felt like I was on my own private plane.

After about 3 hours of lounging I decided I was ready for some sleep, and summoned a flight attendant to make up my bed. The sheet and duvet and pillow are all great, but what truly stands out is the length of the bed. I didn’t have to curl up or contort – I could lie truly flat and fully extended, and still had room to toss and turn. It was hands-down the most spacious and comfortable bed I’ve ever flown in.

 
I got 4 hours of solid sleep, and could have napped longer but decided to get up both to enjoy the flight and as an anti-jetlag measure. Somehow I was actually hungry, and I ordered wonton noodle soup off the mid-flight snack menu. It took about 15 minutes to heat up and prepare, but when it arrived it hit the spot – no comparison to the off-brand cup o’ noodles that United serves as a snack in First on the same route.

After some more time spent reading, doing the NYT crossword and watching episodes of “Treme”, I decided I had to sample the one part of the wine list I hadn’t yet tried, and so I had a glass of their nicest red, Lynch Bages 2004 Grand Cru. It retails for over $125 and rivaled the best wine I’ve had on an airplane. Soon after, with several hours still to go before “dinner” I ordered a second snack, this time opting for crab cakes. They were great – and impressed me that even when it came to snacks, Cathay delivered a true First Class experience.

After more reading and dozing eventually it was time for dinner, and out came the tray table for the fourth time. It’s a lighter and less elaborate affair than the lunch service, which is fitting given that it was 2am San Francisco time. The first course was a fruit plate, which was fresh and good despite how long it had undoubtedly been sitting. The main course was a choice of chicken, beef, or crab cannelloni. I had the stir-fried beef with vegetables and rice. It wasn’t fancy by any means, but comfort food was what my body wanted at that point, and it did the trick. And there was still some fancy yet to come as they brought out the cheese board – with four different cheeses than at lunch. Of course there was also one last dessert, raspberry mousse cake, and a final tea and coffee service with pralines.

Once cleared, reality began to set in that we would soon be landing in Hong Kong and there would be no more drink refills or snacks or meals (and that I desperately needed to get to a gym the next day). It was the first time I’d ever been so comfortable after such a long flight that I wished I could stay on the airplane. I made one last trip to the lav to change back into my clothes and brush my teeth. We landed on a foggy afternoon at HKG, and I very reluctantly gathered my things as the Flight Attendants bade us goodbye by name and ensured that First Class deplaned first. I made a point of thanking them for their great service and telling the ISM what a nice flight I’d had.

I realize how relentlessly I’ve used glowing adjectives throughout this report, and I promise that I am no shy critic. Nor am I a shill for Cathay – I bought the ticket using miles and they had no idea I was going to write about them (neither did I, or else I would have taken more and better pictures). But it was downright hard to find things to complain about. I suppose the amenity kit, which carried a Zegna label but looked like a binocular case could have been nicer… And there could have been a more exclusive First Class lounge and boarding process at SFO.

On the other hand, each key element of the experience rivaled or beat the best I’ve flown before. From service to seat, bed, food and drink, entertainment system, and overall cabin privacy, it was really a sublime and memorable combination. I’ve had fantastic international First Class flights but I’ve never flown in a seat and bed that comfortable, and never experienced such a private jet atmosphere.

I connected to other Cathay flights on this trip, and they varied from good to great. But none reached the perfect ten of CX869 SFO-HKG in Seat 1A on the 777, which I now tell people was hands-down the best in my 1.2 million miles of flying.

-
Geoff Fischer is an aviation and travel enthusiast currently living in Seattle

[IFE Remote and Wonton Soup photos also courtesy SFO777]

You’ve asked for Wednesday posts to come back, and now they’re going to – in a limited way. Some of you love trip reports while others hate them, so I’m going to designate Wednesday as “trip report day.” If I have a trip, I’ll post the report on Wednesdays. But now I’m opening it up to others who have particularly unique experiences that I think others might like. Today, I’d like to introduce Geoff. He lives for hunting down some of these more exotic experiences, and today he brings you the Emirates A380 in First Class. Let me know what you think.
–

Many people have a special vice or indulgence – something about which they care far more than the average person and which, quite irrationally, they value well above its objective cost. For some it’s a fancy car, or scoring a prime table at a hip restaurant or having the latest fashion fad. Mine is flying in a premium cabin.

Over the years, with a lot of planning and tactical earning and burning of frequent flier miles, I’ve flown in some fantastically spacious lie-flat beds, gotten free massages in exclusive high-end lounges and raised my champagne tolerance to impressive levels. But Dubai-based Emirates Airlines upped the ante exponentially for travel sybarites like me when they announced their fleet of new Airbus A380 aircraft was going to have showers in First Class.

Found only on the highest-end private aircraft, a shower on a plane is a serious luxury because of the high fuel cost of carrying around all that extra water. So far none of the other carriers that have taken delivery of the A380 have chosen to install them.

Thankfully, not having a reason to go to Dubai nor mega bucks wasn’t an obstacle keeping me from this unique in-flight experience. Emirates flies the A380 on several shorter non-hub routes like Hong Kong to Bangkok and Sydney to Auckland, where First Class tickets can be had for hundreds instead of thousands of dollars.

A rational purchase? Hardly. Worth it for a three hour flight? Maybe not in other circumstances. After all, I’d have to get half way around the world to do it. But come on, a shower on a plane??!! Has to be done at least once I told myself.

And so I was in Hong Kong a few weeks ago, eager to see how Emirates First Class stacked up to others I’ve flown, and if showering on a plane took premium air travel to a whole new level…

---

Emirates 385 Lv Hong Kong 915p Arr Bangkok 1115p
HKG: Gate 62, Runway 7R, Depart 3m Early
BKK: Gate E4, Runway 19R, Arrive 2m Early
Airbus A380-861, A6-EDI
Seat 2A, 14/14 F Suites Occupied
Flight Time 2h28m

The Emirates airport lounge didn’t open until 6:15, which meant that even though I could check-in early at the HK Airport Express station, I couldn’t start the champagne flowing until then. The train ride out was uneventful and the immigration and security process was quick, despite the lack of a special lane for premium passengers. I got to the lounge early and sure enough the lights were off. So I headed back down to the main level to take advantage of two of HKG’s great features: views of big airplanes and free WiFi. I found an area with comfortable lounge chairs looking out over the busy ramp and a sliver of runway, and kept myself occupied until the lounge opened at 6:15 sharp.

I was welcomed into the spacious facility, where a large staff was still setting up the buffet and other serving areas. I staked out a couch and table and headed over to see what was on offer. The drink station had an ample selection of wine and spirits. I was greeted by an attendant who asked what I would like and then poured me a glass of champagne.  I started at the appetizer section of the buffet, helping myself to a ramekin of fancy mixed nuts, some upscale cheese and crackers and some fresh fruit. Soon enough I was back for a refill and the attendant topped up my glass while I perused the entrees which included satay, stir-fried noodles and baked tuna. It was good by lounge food standards and there was a diverse selection to accommodate a broad array of cultural and dietary preferences – important because in looking around it was quite a diverse group of fellow passengers.

One small nit to pick with the set-up is that unlike the nearby United and Singapore Air facilities, there was not a separate area for First Class passengers (Business Class and Emirates top frequent fliers all share the same big space). It wasn’t a huge deal, but the main room did get quite busy and loud as departure time approached.

The attendants did a good job of circulating to pick up used plates and glasses and offering drink refills. I went up thinking I might sample one or two of the several very good looking desserts but exercised some rare self-control. I chatted briefly with the desk agents to confirm the flight was still on time and then ducked in to use the facilities. As I exited, the vigilant bathroom attendant headed inside to straighten up, something I then noticed happen after virtually every occupant.

Though boarding had yet to be announced, I was eager to survey the scene at the gate so I headed down a bit early. Our plane was being fueled and bags were loaded while inside it was as chaotic as you would expect for an aircraft that holds 500 passengers.

At the appointed hour the floodgates were opened, my boarding pass was scanned and I made my way into the jetway, past the door for coach and up the inclined ramp to the upstairs entrance for Business and First Class passengers.

There was a flight attendant waiting at the door and the typical pre-flight flurry of activity in the galleys and aisles. She welcomed me and after seeing my seat assignment in First, had one of her colleagues show me to Suite 2A.

Between the shiny wood and chrome and all the bells and whistles in the suite, my first impression was of sensory overload — but in a good way. There was a lot to take in and figure out.

The FA stowed my jacket in the built-in closet, and I was impressed by the vast underseat storage area, fitted with a thoughtful strap that allowed me to stash my rollaboard off to the side standing up, instead of on its side and extending into my legroom. Another flight attendant was by to take my pre-departure drink order as I started to familiarize myself with the seat controls and entertainment system…

…And the mini-bar, and the vanity mirror and built-in amenity kit. And the contents of the Goodie Basket.

Realizing that it’s a lot to process, there’s a hefty “Emirates A380 First Class Suite Guide” booklet to explain how it all works.

For the most part, things were clean and looked new on this less than one-year-old aircraft (delivered May 2010), the one exception being the carpeting inside my suite which showed several stains. The seat itself was comfortable, and the leg room was ample enough for my 6’4” frame, but it wasn’t as wide as others I’ve flown. (According to Seatguru.com it is 23 inches wide, noticeably narrower than the likes of Cathay Pacific, Singapore and even United with seat widths of 30” and up.)

That said, the suite did feel very private; thanks to the high sidewalls and layout the only sign I could see of another passenger in the full cabin was the legs and feet of the person in the middle seat one row ahead of me. That’s a definite plus in my book when traveling solo. I also liked the individual air vents in the suite, allowing the passenger some control over the temperature.

A glass of Dom 2002 arrived. It was nicely chilled, in a proper flute and hit the spot. After a few sips I walked up to the front area to see about reserving an early time slot for my shower, so that I wouldn’t be rushed with dinner. A helpful FA took my seat number and said that the shower attendant would come to get me in flight as soon as it was ready. (Yes, among the 24 FAs that staff an Emirates A380 flight there is one whose primary job is to look after the showers.)

As much as there was to keep me occupied at the seat, FAs were passing through almost non-stop offering magazines and newspapers, then slippers and eyeshades, then a piping hot refreshing towel the size of a large washcloth, and then Arabic coffee and dates. Between that unique touch and the announcements in Arabic (as well as English and Chinese) and the traditional hat and scarf that the female FAs wear, there was no mistaking that this was a Middle Eastern airline.

While I was taking in the scene another FA came by with a champagne refill and a small can of Pringles, to replace the one I had eaten from my Goodie Basket. Definite points for proactive service. Our purser then came by to introduce herself, gave me a warm welcome by name and the menu and wine lists, which were in a heavy, restaurant-style leather binder.

Billed as a “Light Meal”, there was a choice of salmon and caviar or lamb loin appetizer, followed by a salad, a choice of five entrees, a cheese course and dessert. Three of the entrees were Asian dishes and then there was a grilled lamb rack and a steamed veggie plate to round out the offering. None of the choices jumped out at me, but I went with the “Chinese style roast chicken with plum sauce, stir-fried noodles and mixed vegetables” figuring that to be a safe, if not particularly elegant, follow-on to smoked salmon and caviar. The wine list was upscale and diverse though there wasn’t a real high-end Premier or Grand Cru bottle as I’ve seen on other airlines.

I selected the tail camera channel on the Entertainment system and enjoyed that unique view as we pushed back from the gate a few minutes early. I counted at least four cabin crew in the aisles collecting the drink glasses and Goodie Baskets and otherwise preparing the cabin for takeoff.

Having had one previous ride on the A380, I knew to look forward to the takeoff roll, with the immense thrust being put out by the four engines working to get the beast airborne. It’s also longer than you’ll experience on most other aircraft – a full 45 seconds I counted this time before the front wheels left the ground. The seatbelt sign came off 6 minutes out and before I knew it a flight attendant was by to offer some more champagne and to tell me that the shower attendant was setting up for me. I half-jokingly asked if she was sure there was no turbulence coming and was promised a smooth ride.

Not long after came the magic words I’d been waiting for: “Sir, your shower is ready. Please come with me.” I fought to suppress the grin on my face as I was ushered into an airplane bathroom like none I’d seen before.

Many times larger than a standard lavatory, it was trimmed in blond wood with gray suede-like upholstery on the seating surfaces and discreetly covering the toilet.

The interior wall had a huge mirror as well as a monitor showing the moving map channel from the entertainment system. I was given a primer on how the shower worked as well as a safety briefing so that I knew where the oxygen mask would deploy and where the call button was if I needed any assistance. But most important was the “Remaining Time” gauge, which shows how much of your allotted five minutes of shower water is left.

I was very impressed by how clean everything seemed. There was not a scrap of paper on the floor or anything out of place. The glass surfaces were all gleaming. The shower itself was nicer than many I have used in airport lounges, not to mention some hotels. The towel provided was big, white and fluffy and there was every type of bath gel and lotion you could need.

I hung up my clothes on the provided hanger and gingerly stepped in. A sensor requires the shower door to be fully closed to start the water, which makes plenty of sense but puts you in the awkward position of being inside at first spray, without knowing what temperature to expect. Huddled close to the wall, I hit the magic “on” button and hoped not to be scalded. Unlike my shower at home it was pleasantly warm right off the bat. The water pressure was also great. I took a few moments just getting my bearings but then remembered I was working against the clock.

By the time I hit the off button, I was in the red zone with just over a minute of water left. I didn’t wash my hair, but if I hadn’t been messing around taking pictures I probably would have had enough time. I got out, dried myself off and saw the altitude reading on the monitor of 11,500 meters. Dude, I just took a shower at 37,000 feet! A pretty darn good shower at that.

Duly refreshed, I decided it was only fitting to check out one of the other unique features of the plane: the bar/lounge at the back of Business Class. It took a bit of hopping around service carts and FAs to get all the way to the back. The large area included couches on both sides by the windows and several standing areas in the middle where multi-tiered trays of finger food were set out. The alcohol was fairly upscale, as was the vibe. Seatbelts were tucked into the couches, enabling you to ride out turbulence without having to be antisocial and go back to your seat.

The bartender looked happy to see me as she had only one other passenger to look after. She fixed me a drink, very carefully measuring and pouring out a single shot. There was a fair bit of clamor coming from the rear galley where several FAs were stowing dinner items and sending out dessert and coffee to a constant stream of their colleagues working the aisles. The three of us chatted and I think the surreal-ness of showering and then drinking at the bar on the plane finally began to hit me. (Or was it the vodka?) In another Rare Moment of Self Control I turned down a drink refill, and went back to my seat for dinner.

My dutiful flight attendant must have seen me come back as she swooped in with a linen tablecloth to get me set for dinner. The tray table is massive – which is cool in one sense, but unless I missed something the design doesn’t leave you a way to get up from the seat when it is deployed. (On other airlines the tray slides or pivots, or the aisle-side armrest slides down allowing you to get up.)

She was then back with a food tray… and some bad news. Somehow despite my having ordered the caviar appetizer, they were now out of it and only the lamb choice was left. She was apologetic and nice enough about it, even offering a double helping of the lamb if I wanted it. I declined and then was offered an ample bread basket and chose garlic bread, which was served warm.

The tray was crammed with a lot of stuff, including a bread plate, a small side salad, and various accoutrements. It was a nice presentation, but it always feels classier to me when they bring and place the items individually instead of serving them all at once on a tray.

But that was not to be my biggest gripe with the meal. The lamb was tough, the salad was… just a salad. The chicken with noodles entree was so lame I asked for more garlic bread. It made the lounge food seem great by contrast. Admittedly it is a short flight so maybe they scale back on the catering budget. All I know is that I’d be very disappointed if this is what they serve on longer flights.

It did at least end on a high note, with a mousse cake and a nice glass of Sauternes. Following that was the most elegant coffee service I’ve ever had on a plane, featuring a big proper coffee pot with accompaniments that included a plate of ginger cookies. I also had my arm twisted into sampling the Glenfiddich 21 year single malt.

The cabin lighting was turned down, revealing a cool feature on the ceiling resembling stars in the night sky. I could have dozed, but wanted to fully enjoy what remained of my time. I turned on the in-seat massage function but then quickly turned it off because it was so loud and vigorous.

I also had to try the seat in bed mode, and found it comfortable and long enough for me to sleep without having to curl up. The finishing touch was closing the doors to my suite, sealing me off from the cabin in my own cocoon. I must admit it created a unique sense of privacy and would no doubt help me stay asleep on a long flight.

As the engines spooled back to signal the start of our descent, I took stock of the day’s adventure. While there were a few on-board elements that could have used improvement, I give Emirates a lot of credit for raising the bar on First Class by installing the showers and operating them with such high standards. The actual shower on a plane was better than I expected. (The fun of telling people I took a shower on a plane wasn’t bad either.)

Although the best part of taking a shower on a plane isn’t taking the shower – it’s feeling (and smelling) good afterward, unlike pretty much everyone else coming off of airplanes. While less of an issue on this short flight, it is a big deal on overnight flights, especially for travelers going to straight to work at their destination.

Getting off the plane feeling decidedly invigorated, I wondered if the rival airline execs who chose not to put showers on their A380s have ever tried one.

–
Geoff Fischer is an aviation and travel enthusiast currently living in Seattle who embraces his inner sybarite and enjoys the comforts of flying in a premium cabin