Dear traveler,

A special time of year is upon us, and so it is time to reflect upon the True Meaning of Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving is not a time to give thanks.

Thanksgiving is a time to get bumped.

It’s high time for the stuffing of the birds! But if one is thinking turkey, then it’s time to tune in to a higher plane where stuffing is a verb, not a noun. It’s high time for stuffing of the Boeings! (And the Airbii, and the Embraers, and so on.) The airlines overbook their birds, and an overstuffed Thanksgiving airplane will vent out big vouchers for eagerly awaiting volunteers. Just resolve that all the fine family, friends, and food awaiting can be started a little late and a little leftover, and the True Meaning of Thanksgiving can be yours.

I will joyfully return to the skies this Thanksgiving, for a long planned voyage to the northlands where family awaits. But it won’t be easy. I no longer reside near Phoenix Sky Harbor, the Hub of Riches, where the holiday dollars pour down like the never ending sunshine. More than that, the external pressure to resist the rewards this year is awesome. Far away family members I’ll miss completely if I arrive even a few hours late. Multiple nieces impatiently awaiting the arrival of an uncle.

But the path to the True Meaning of Thanksgiving was never meant to be easy. For if it did not involve challenging choices, then everyone would become easily enlightened, and the rush to snare the rewards would be crushing. So the equillibrium of moving masses, stuffed birds, and flowing freebies is maintained. May all of your hard won Thanksgiving choices result in profitable travel joy during this fine season.

With a high five (or, really, with a high five hundred dollar voucher),

..robert

The True Meaning of Thanksgiving, years past:
http://www.rstack.com/thanksgiving/thanksgiving.html

In the Trenches: Building Our Own Tech Tools – Intuit Small Business Blog
Sometimes, you just have to start building your own tools when off-the-shelf options don’t work.

Yep, that’s Robert drinking a bottle of Herb Kelleher’s favorite, Wild Turkey. He has the page turned to Phoenix flights, and yes, that is the current US Airways and former America West headquarters in the background. I’m going to assume that it’s the epic battle between those two airlines over the years that has caused Robert to finish the bottle.

So, congratulations, Robert. The timetable is yours. And now, I’m happy to present this year’s version of the True Meaning of Thanksgiving.

Dear traveler,

It is time to set aside the iPhones, Droids, Blackberries, Crunch Berries, netbooks, wiis, and other gadgets of the day to reflect upon this glorious time of year. For Thanksgiving is nearly upon us, and the airport eagerly awaits your arrival. For the True Meaning of Thanksgiving shines forth for those who wish to see:

Thanksgiving is not a time to give thanks.

Thanksgiving is a time to get bumped.

For while most find crowds, lines, waits, and little cheer in their holiday travels, a Silver Liner awaits for those who arrive prepared. The airlines know that some don’t show up for their flights, so when things get busy there are more bookings than seats. And often enough, most everyone will show up; then the luckiest get stopped in place with a bump. Those in the know then smile, for they know that a true Thanksgiving meal will patiently wait until Friday. For Thanksgiving Day is reserved for arriving nice and late, bumped and laden with vouchers.

Things are calmer now than they were before. Oil prices are no longer spurting over new horizons, so airlines are not falling like dominoes. The economy is crawling up the other side of the cliff and the vertigo that was raging a year ago is abating. The furious fee frenzy finds the feeless flyer feeling fine and flying freely. Fee fads flourish; the new fees focused for flying for the holidays just help to highlight the finest days for winning the riches of the bump.

So follow the leaders who find their true selves at Phoenix Sky Harbor, the Hub of Riches, in the spirit of America West Airlines, the all time stuffingest of the airlines of yore. Thanksgiving will find me flying the feeless fleet, for they have been filling their planes more furiously than in years gone by. So I share sweet dreams of a new generation of riches awaiting at every gate.

May your vouchers beget more vouchers with the finest of chain rebumpings,

..robert

Links to The True Meaning of Thanksgiving, years past:

http://www.rstack.com/thanksgiving/thanksgiving.html

I’m taking the rest of the week off to spend time with the family. I hope all my US readers have a happy Thanksgiving. See you back here again on Monday.

Unfortunately, it’s not a very straightforward process. Air Canada says that to take advantage of the opportunity, you have to go to the Optiontown website. Apparently, they’re the ones taking the risk here. Once there, you put in your confirmation number and last name and they prepare your offer.

Only parties of 1 or 2 people traveling on Tango or Tango Plus (the cheapest) fares are eligible on flights within Canada or between Canada and the US. Even those people may not be offered the option on every flight. When you enter your information, you get to decide how flexible you are. If you give them a wider range of availability (up to three days), you can earn more than if you just have a few hours of leeway. Once you pick your time range, they give you specific flights within that range from which to choose. At that point, you pick the actual flight that you would be willing to take as an alternate to your original, if they need you.

Finally, you get to choose how far in advance you need to know your plans, either 2 or 4 days prior to departure. If you give them 2 days, they’ll pay you more than if you need 4 days. More flexibility means more money for you.

So how much can you get? They’ll give you up to $7 (USD or CAD) just for signing up. Then if they actually opt to switch you to the new flight, they’ll give you up to $50 more each way. It’s not as much as you could get if you were bumped at the airport, but that makes sense. They’re giving you much more advance notice and they even let you pick your alternative.

This seems like a win-win to me. For Air Canada, they can gain flexibility. If they want to overbook as the flight gets closer, they know how many options they have to move people around. And it will ultimately cost them less to bump people in both monetary and emotional costs. For passengers, they can earn a little extra cash and pick the flight to which they’d want to switch.

My only complaint is that it’s a very complicated system, and you won’t know how much you could make until you actually go through the motions of signing up. That’s a lot of hassle for something that you may not opt to accept if the payment isn’t high enough. But still, it’s better than nothing. Let me know if anyone has the chance to give it a try.

Dear traveler,

It has been a wild ride these days in so many ways, and we are all well due for a moment of reflection upon the True Meaning of Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving is not a time to give thanks.

Thanksgiving is a time to get bumped.

Little is sedate lately in the world of airline travel. First we had the relentless oil price rise which ended some long storied airlines and threatened to ground more and more of us. Then there was the fast and furious fee float, with frequent fees to pay fees and one lone fee free fleet. Then came the dizzying drop in most everything, taking oil prices down with it. Now, we tired and cranky fliers anxiously wait to see where all this uncertainty is headed–up, or down? Big changes, or small?

We have never needed Thanksgiving more than we do now. For while there is so much uncertainty in everything around us, one principle remains crystal clear: a mass migration is solidly strapped to the Thanksgiving calendar, and great opportunities flow forth for those who keep the faith. This year, the migration may be a touch less mass–our wallets are slimmer, and some will succumb to the heretical idea of just staying home. But the airlines have more than made up for this by trimming their flights. Fewer flights and smaller planes point to a smoother yet more packed Thanksgiving; this is a perfect recipe for bump prizes to start leaking, then flowing, and then gushing from gate podiums.

I continue my sad little slide into Thanksgiving mediocrity. Two mere nonstop flights means that I have squandered my chance to regain some Thanksgiving glory. For lately I have scored only at less predictable times of year–New Years, Spring Break, and the like. I suppose I can hope for a little LUV voucher, but deep down I know that the better bumps go to those who squeeze the most hops into their Thanksgiving travels. And the very best bumps go to those who sweep through the US Airways Hub of Riches at Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport. For at US Airways, the memories are short: those who watch the dollars flow in quickly forget the riches that gush right back out into the arms of those lying in wait. For the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow is an illusion; but the stacks of vouchers that line every terminal are real, and they eagerly await your taking.

May your Thanksgiving be the most bountiful yet,

..robert

Links to The True Meaning of Thanksgiving, years past:
http://www.rstack.com/thanksgiving/thanksgiving.html

And from the looks of the weather map, it’s not going to be an easy week for air travelers. But let’s not focus on the negative. Instead, as we do every year, let’s focus on the True Meaning of Thanksgiving as told once again by my friend, Robert Stack.

Dear traveler,

It is time to put aside our worldly trappings of modern air travel–the gold cards, embossed luggage tags, noise reducing headsets, and tiny bottles of hotel shampoo and conditioner–to pay homage to the True Meaning of Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving is not a time to give thanks.

Thanksgiving is a time to get bumped.

The holidays are always a challenging time for those who want to be on their way. And in olden days, these times were indeed challenging, but they were short. The Wednesday before, the Sunday after; other days would be easy and mellow. But now, the travel challenge of the holidays persists throughout the year. Blizzards on New Years Day. Ice storms on Valentine’s Day. Nor’easters on President’s Day. Thunderstorms on Memorial Day, Labor Day, and every Day in between.

The best laid plans cloud the future for the bumpee. Some have threatened to overbook less so that stranded people may be on their way within hours instead of days. Some still cling to the quaint idea that there shall be no overbooking; for these errant ways, punishment has been handed down from the skies on Valentine’s Day. The ever meddling government wants to ratchet up the bonus for the unknowingly lucky, the forced bumpee. While this would ease the pain for these cranky people, it can only be bad for the devotee. For while more money always sounds nice, the airlines, smart critters that they are, will learn to overbook less. And less overbooking always means less fun.

But do not lose heart. All misguided plans go awry sometime, and with any luck, sometime may smile upon you. The skies may clear, the planes may zip in and out, and then the smoothness of it all will lure people back to the airports, to squeeze all at once onto too few seats for too many people. As for me, I am ever less worthy to hold the mantle of a Grand Bumpee. This year I sank to a new low: I passed on a Bump. Never mind that I was already forty hours late after three more bumps; never mind that I slept only a tiny fraction of these forty hours. What counts is that I passed, which means that I failed. And that is a source of shame, for which I must be punished. And my punishment has yet to be revealed, but I fear it may involve a connection in New York.

With endless airport wait wishes,

..robert

–
Links to The True Meaning of Thanksgiving, years past:
http://www.rstack.com/thanksgiving/thanksgiving.html

And with that, I’m off to see the family for the weekend. I wasn’t planning on writing again until Monday, but I’ll have plenty of downtime so I may be back online earlier than that. Happy Thanksgiving to all my American readers.

. . . few reports have focused on the fact that the airlines involved, US Airways and its subcontractor, Mesa Airlines, are notorious for overbooked flights.

It’s important to know that almost every airline overbooks (JetBlue not included). The government knows about it and even tracks the number of people who were involuntarily denied boarding. So, let’s look it up. The most recent report shows second quarter 2007 results. Of the 18 airlines reporting, Mesa ranked 9th and US Airways 12th, both actually slightly better than the industry average. In the first quarter, US Airways was still 12th, but Mesa was 14th. This time they were worse than the industry average but hardly the worst offenders. The fourth quarter of last year saw the airlines finish 11th and 12th respectively (out of 19 airlines) and we can go on and on.

Does US Airways overbook? Yes. Do they have denied boardings? Yes. Are they notorious for it? Only if several other airlines are considered notorious for it as well. I don’t see why they should be singled out here. What else you got?

. . . to increase profitability, Mesa understaffs all its sales counters, baggage staff and other personnel and slashed health care and pensions, while US Air overbooks all flights and often issues duplicate seat assignments.

Guilty as charged. But so is every other airline. Why the personal vendetta against US Airways? Oh right, it’s because the author was bumped once.

The pilot told us they were terribly underpaid and overworked and that flying conditions were unsafe.

I have never met a pilot who would willingly fly an unsafe aircraft with passengers on it. This sounds like someone who wanted to get management in trouble because they’re unhappy about their pay. I understand the frustration – regional pilots in general don’t make much money – but if there are truly unsafe conditions, I would assume this pilot would not be flying those planes and would report it.

Other staffers told us that many US Air/Mesa personnel were dispirited and overworked, which often led them to vent their frustration on passengers, in a sort of “kick the dog” syndrome

Again, I don’t see why this is limited to Mesa and US Airways (not US Air). Just about everyone in the industry is overworked and dispirited. Sad but true.

We can go on and on here, but it’s all more of the same. The way I see it, the author has long had a grudge against US Airways and incredibly thought that she could use this woman’s death to nail them. She interviewed a bunch of angry employees to get some more ammo, and there you have it. What I don’t see is any effort to actually check facts and get opposing viewpoints from US Airways’ management.

There have been plenty of intelligent arguments about the bigger question of what is wrong with US Airways, Mesa, and this industry overall (answer: a lot), but this is clearly not one of them. This is just a poor attempt at a smear job.

But for the traveler, there is another reason to love Thanksgiving. Since 1998, my friend Robert Stack has issued his annual letter of joy for all to read. Now, in all its unedited glory, I offer you the true meaning of Thanksgiving for 2006.

Dear traveler,

The windows are opening and the air-con has finally earned a good long rest
for the long, chilly winter that will warrant the occasional sweater. And
with the change of season it is now time to reflect upon the True Meaning of
Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving is not a time to give thanks.

Thanksgiving is a time to get bumped.

Nothing is ever easy for the airlines. While people rush to fill
seats like never before, the airlines are not yet basking in the glow of big fat
profits. What the economy giveth, fuel prices taketh away, and so we wait,
patiently and eternally, for the glory days of air travel to resume. And
this year brings yet a new fear: the fear of quart sized baggies
overflowing with liquids, creams, gels, and goos of all kinds, gumming up the
security checks and grinding down the patience of travelers and airline
employees everywhere. No, it will not be a beautiful travel dance this
year, since all beauty must fit inside teeny 3 ounce bottles, or be checked away
to airline bag heaven (known by many as “Philly”).

But for the dedicated bumpee, there is a great silver lining to this story.
Big fat profits mean nothing–and more people filling fewer seats means
everything. Bumping is up! Freebies flow forth furiously! All
hopes are pinned on a banner year for the devotee of the bump. While dark
spots persist–the little, er, not so little airline from New York still clings
to its quaint vision of one person, one seat; the desert laborers toil on to
bounce the phantom bookers–the trend is hopeful. For those at Indy have
been punished for their ancient ways; they are now a mere bump in the airline
history books, to be judged harshly for their myopic vision.

As for me, I am poorly qualified to lead the way for this joyous season
with so much potential. I will try my hand on Black Sunday, with a
perfectly jam packed midday flight home. But I am no role model, for I am
flying out on Thanksgiving Day, wimping out on the great potential of Black
Wednesday. And I am not flying on the airline with the big eyes, eating
bigger and bigger airlines at every meal. I may well be be punished with
empty hands and a deep sadness once the airport din subsides. But there is
always next year, and with any luck, the liquids, creams, gels, and goos spilled
over this momentous holiday will have finally been cleaned up by then.

With hopes for blisters on our fingers from signing so many vouchers,

..robert
–
Links to The True Meaning of Thanksgiving, years past:
http://www.rstack.com/thanksgiving/thanksgiving.html

Happy Thanksgiving to all. I’ll be back posting on Monday.