Am I the only one who thinks this whole boarding pass advertising thing is a little creepy? It’s not the concept that bothers me. You want to throw some ads on my boarding pass? Go ahead. It’s the fact that they’re using my demographics to target ads that makes me nervous.

The basic idea is that right now, when you print your boarding pass at home, it’s just a boarding pass. So, American, Continental, Delta, Northwest, United, and US Airways have now all partnered with a new company called Sojern that will sell ad spots on your boarding pass and mask it by offering weather information. Of course, the spin is that this makes life easier for the traveler. Whatever. I’ve never had trouble clicking on Weather Underground to get my own weather, but if you want to put it on there . . . fine.

None of that bothers me. What bothers me is something that I haven’t really seen talked about. Yes, the company admits that it’s targeting based upon where you’re going, and others have mentioned that. Well duh, that makes sense, and I don’t mind them sharing that information. But, if you click on the sample boarding pass (PDF), it states “Sojern’s new media delivers tailored advertising messages based on travelers’ unique itineraries and demographics.”

Hold on here. How are you getting my demographic information? Is the airline sharing it with you if I’m logged in to an account when I check in? I don’t like that at all.

If you’ve been watching college football over the last few days, there’s a decent chance you’ve seen Southwest’s newest ad campaign that’s trying to get you to be more productive. Then again, you may have tuned it out as soon as it came on TV. This is a weird one.

I must admit, they’ve done a very elaborate job here. If you go to BeMoreProductive.com, you’ll see a big web-2.0y website with all kinds of ways to be more productive. The site is primarily filled with a bunch of videos showing our hero, Nick, the king of productivity. He never works nights and weekends, but he outperforms everyone.

Is it just me, or does Nick look a little familiar? Remember JetBlue’s poster boy for the new defunct Ohio service? He say on the homepage for a couple days when their new website launched in 2006. Hmm . . . .

Anyway, beyond Nick, we have a relatively lame attempt at generating user-generated content. They want people to go and offer their tips on how to be more productive. Um, no. Because as we all know, offering tips on being productive is about the LEAST productive thing you could be doing. (Two “tips” on the site already say just that.)

At least they aren’t filtering it like Delta did back when they launched their “change” website. How do I know? Well, I’m guessing this comment wouldn’t have made it through the censors:

Honestly,
Anybody who has worked two weeks in an office, already knows these things that are on this hokey site. Productivity is more of a product of company values, culture, and politics than anything else, most of which is out of the employee’s hands. If you were to violate the basic tips given on this site you probably wouldn’t be employeed [sic] long enough to worry about improving your productivity. Good luck……

Though they may not be censoring, it looks like they do have some plants in here. I’d say that John “Wrightington” isn’t really a disinterested party considering his quote:

driving all the way to DFW and then parking at a $17 per day open air parking space just to fly on an airline that doesn’t have any concept of customer service is a multip productivity blunder.

fly LOVE!

Hmm, I think you can get remote parking for $7 a day, and if you live in Ft Worth, Love Field is hardly a time saver. But hey, whatever. And that doesn’t really matter anyway. What does matter is that this site is just a waste of time. They’ve spent so much time on it, even putting advertising on this website linking to a fake site about the Annual Productivity Awards, but they haven’t really made anything compelling here. What’s the message? Fly Southwest and you’ll be more productive? Uh, ok. Why?

Oops, they forgot to talk about that. The only mention of Southwest is a tile in the header of each page saying that the site is brought to you by Southwest. I suppose the idea is to have people associate Southwest with productivity, but I’d think that it might be worth tying those things together. They’ve made a lot of changes in the last year, so it might be worth telling everyone why you improve productivity.

The obvious message is the “more frequent nonstop flights to more places” of course. But maybe they should talk about how you don’t have to line up to board anymore, so you don’t need to get there early. Or they could mention the USB and 110V power ports in the gate areas. I suppose they could even talk about Business Select, but hopefully they’d find a better way to do that than they’ve done so far.

Maybe I’m just looking at this campaign a little too early. Maybe this is all building up to a better tie-in to the airline. I really hope that’s the case, because so far I don’t see anything compelling.

Ok, so maybe I was wrong in condemning all surveys. I think it may just be the surveys that take themselves too seriously. When I saw this “AXE’s Best and Worst Airports to Make a Connection” survey, I actually liked it. I mean, it’s clearly just a marketing ploy and you’re not supposed to take it too seriously, but it does its job well.

Let’s just start with the big winner in this survey . . . Philadelphia International Airport. I’m pretty sure Philly has never topped the list of any positive survey, so that instantly grabbed my attention. What is this list?!?

Apparently the goal is to help “identify the airports that give you the best chance for meeting that special someone this holiday travel season.” So what’s so great about Philly?

Thanks to some of the nation’s longest and most frequent flight delays (32 percent of all flights, averaging 60 minutes), getting stuck in “The Airport of Brotherly Love” gives you a chance to hang your hat in one of 16 bars and seven lounges or grab a cheese steak at one of 57 restaurants. If you’ve got an extra-long layover, impress the object of your desire with smooth moves at the airport’s magic shop.

Oooooooh, I get it. Philly’s suckiness in on-time percentage means more time for love. And they have so many bars and restaurants that there are plenty of places to make it happen. O’Hare and Atlanta? Crappy delays for sure, but the amenities aren’t there. Try flying through O’Hare’s Third World Terminal 2 and you’ll agree.

What’s the worst? Oakland. I’m sure Oakland (the city) has been the worst on many lists, but the airport doesn’t generally fit the bill. But in this case, the lack of massive delays and amenities makes it a bad place for getting the job done. Obviously, this survey doesn’t take itself seriously, and that’s why it’s a good one.

I tried not to do it. Really. I wasn’t going to write about Spirit’s MILF sale, especially since every other travel blogger has already done it. But after reading the latest round of posts on the subject this morning, I just had to do it.

Why is everyone freaking out about this?!?

The sale ended last night, so this is old news, but the strange controversy lives on. Brief background: Spirit Airlines (based in Ft Lauderdale) launched a sale called the MILF sale. That was said to stand for “Many Islands Low Fares” but in pop culture it means “Mother I’d Like to F***.”

Spirit claimed they didn’t know what it meant, but please, that can’t be true. Spirit is the king of these types of promotions, and I’ve written about it many times. My personal favorite was the Mullet sale with the line “Business in the Front, Party in the Back.” Cheesy? Hell yeah, but I’ll bet it’s effective.

Think about it. How many people know Spirit? Probably not that many in the grand scheme of things. How many people like cheap fares? Um, everyone. If you have extremely cheap fares, you aren’t going to be able to spend a lot of marketing, so, how do you get people to know that you have those fares? Get the media to tell everyone for you. How do you do that? Do something outrageous that will grab their attention.

This time, they’ve succeeded. I’ve seen this sale picked up not just by bloggers but by the national media over the last couple of days. Everyone is talking about it, and most people are “outraged” at such a thing. Let me say something to those outraged people. First of all, you people need to find a hobby. Second of all, you’ve fallen right into the airline’s trap. The more you talk about it, the more likely they are to do it again. Way to go.

Remember, this is Spirit. This isn’t an airline trying to be anything other than cheap transportation. Is it offensive? I really don’t see how it is, but if everyone else thinks it is, that’s better for them. So, if you really are outraged by this, then stop complaining. You’re just helping them.

I, on the other hand, think that this is a really smart move. Everyone is talking about it, and that’s going to lead people to their website to take a look. If even a fraction of those resulted in bookings, it was a successful promotion.

There is definitely something fun about coming home and sifting through some of the old stuff buried in the closet in my parents’ house. I love looking through some of the old National Geographic magazines, because they all have old airline ads. When I picked up the August 1970 issue, I came across this Delta ad and had to laugh.

So many things about this ad wouldn’t fly in the US today. (Pardon the pun.) You definitely couldn’t say a flight attendant had to be pretty. Heck, you can’t even call her a stewardess. (Besides, it could be a “him” instead.) But these ads were pretty tame compared to those from Southwest, National, and of course, PSA. Forget about all that political correctness though. I bet they delivered fantastic service back then. I only wish I could have experienced it.

The World Series is over, and now we have four long months of cold and darkness before the glory of spring training begins once again. My Diamondbacks fell a little short of the series this year, but they certainly exceeded just about anyone’s expectations. Nice job, guys. I can’t wait to see you again next Spring.

But the World Series is not just a time for celebration in Boston and sadness in Denver. It’s also a time for business to exploit your love of the game. Airlines are, of course, no exception.

I must admit, though, that I like what Frontier decided to do here. As you probably know, Frontier is based in Denver and almost all of its non-Mexico flying goes through the city. If you watched the Series, you probably also saw the big billboard at the stadium that they get as part of their package as official airline of the Rockies. So obviously, they wouldn’t be happy with the outcome of the Series. To make that quite clear, they took out print ads saying . . .

“Now you know why we don’t fly to Boston. Thanks for the best season ever.”

Ok, so that’s clearly not why they don’t fly to Boston, they actually pulled out a couple years back, but I like this kind of advertising for the hometown. There’s something to be said about trying to truly be a part of the hometown like that. It may not result in people immediately shunning United to fly Frontier, but it still sets the right tone and puts a smile on a lot of sad Rockies’ fans.

Meanwhile, over in Boston, Southwest decided to support the Red Sox Nation with a bonus. Now, I guess I should say “over in New England” since Southwest doesn’t actually fly TO Boston, but they have Manchester on the north side and Providence on the south.

I’m not sure how many people got this, but a reader in Massachusetts forwarded along an email with a play on Take Me Out to the Ballgame’s “1-2-3 strikes you’re out.”

Congrats to the 2007 World Champs! We’re stepping up to the plate in honor of this great achievement in baseball history by pitching 3 Rapid Rewards bonus credits your way! Victory—how sweet it is!

That’s a pretty good deal, especially since you don’t have to do anything for it! I wonder if they only sent it to those in Massachusetts or if they sent it out to the broader New England audience.

I’m guessing other airlines have gotten in on the act as well, but I wouldn’t receive any of the offers living here in LA. (Though that may change in the next couple years with Joe Torre coming to town.)

Has anyone else received anything?

While other airlines are waiting for tax relief to help their short haul flights thrive, Horizon Air has decided to go on the offensive with a great marketing campaign.

Short haul flights have struggled as airport security requirements have become more and more annoying and time consuming. People just don’t want to deal with the hassle of limiting liquids, waiting in long lines, and sitting in weather delays for a higher cost than just driving yourself, especially when the drive isn’t much longer than the flight.

You’d think that Horizon would be hit pretty hard with this shift, especially on their bread and butter route from Portland to Seattle - the Horizon Air Shuttle. The drive is 174 miles from downtown to downtown, so driving should be far easier than flying, but Horizon’s new campaign plays on the “horrors” you’ll find while driving through what they call The Slog.

They have apparently channeled Ken Burns for this “documentary” (I still can’t get that music from The Civil War of my head) about the mythical drive on I-5 between Seattle and Portland. If you head to the site, you’ll see an overview video about why you should fly, but then they have short snippets on points along the way that’ll make you cringe. The beauty of this is that it talks about specific points on the drive that probably exist on every route around the country, so even if you don’t drive this particular route you’ll find the videos amusing.

There’s Ticketown - the speedtrap where all the tickets issued if lined end to end would stretch to Mars three times over. And don’t forget Filthy John’s Holler where the bathrooms are so dirty, possibly because the only mop there was lost decades ago. The worst? How about Crab Apple Flats - mile 95 where you lose one lane on the road and it results in horrible backups that test the wills of all who pass.

I can’t remember having driven this road myself, but I can certainly relate because they’re problems we all face somewhere. When they contrast this with Horizon’s half hourly flights that have now seen unrestricted fares lowered to $99 each way, those flights start to sound a lot better. In fact, I’ve got a driving trip to Vegas next weekend, and it’s made me cross my fingers for a last minute flight deal. (Not holding my breath)

Not sure why, but some of my readers don’t seem to like my happy, kudos-filled posts like the Delta one from last week. I guess you’re looking for more CRANKY. With that in mind, I’ll be happy to oblige this morning.

I may like what Delta has been doing online lately, but I really can’t stand their billboard campaign. For months, there’s been this one billboard on Century Blvd, just east of LAX, that has taunted me. I finally snapped a shot of it last week:

Yes, I know. It looks innocent enough. But it isn’t. It’s a great example of Delta overpromising and underdelivering - exactly what an airline should NOT be doing. Let me explain.

As you can see in that picture, Delta is telling customers that flights will go by quickly because you have your own personal entertainment onboard. Yes, there is mice-type telling you that it’s not available on all flights, but nobody can see that. Even if they can see it, they aren’t reading it. All you see is a Delta plane with a cool piece of hardware in the back of it. What’s the chance you’ll get this super-duper system when you fly Delta out of LA? Not good. Take a look below to see the breakdown.

As of the September schedule, Delta will operate 680 flights per week out of LAX - that’s just above 97 per day on average. Of those 680, a whopping 79 have live tv and games as shown in that billboard. That’s just about 11 flights per day or 12% of the total. Another 3% have personal screens that just show movies in loops and 30% have overhead screens you watch with everyone else. But, if you fly from LA, you are most likely to be on the 55% of flights that have no entertainment at all. Yup, 55% of Delta flights are on regional jets.

So how do you get lucky? Well, you only get live tv and games if you fly to a Delta hub. All 39 weekly flights to JFK have it as do 13 to Atlanta, 12 to Cincinnati, 12 to Salt Lake, and 3 to Guatemala City. (Ok, that last one’s not a hub, but whatever.) And there are an additional 23 weekly flights to Atlanta that have personal screens but not live tv.

What you’ll want to do is look for aircraft type “752″ for live tv or “764″ and “777″ for personal screens with looping movies. I’m actually not even 100% sure on the 764, but that’s what I believe to be the case. Any other flight and you’re out of luck.

The airplane tray table . . . so small, so uneven, so . . . so upright and locked before landing. Why do they have to mess with a good thing?

First it was advertising on the tray table. I wasn’t a big fan of the half-naked dude advertising clothes at Dillard’s, but the Verizon ad wasn’t too horribly offensive. Now they’ve moved one step further and started selling space to Business Week. US Airways will be happily displaying the content soon.

So what is this content exactly? Well, it will be “written by some of BusinessWeek’s most popular columnists, including former GE CEO Jack Welch and his wife Suzy; the world’s most renowned wine critic, Robert M. Parker; and CNBC’s Closing Bell anchor Maria Bartiromo.”

Why do you do this to me?

I have a problem . . . if something in my line of sight can be read, I’ll read it. And since aisle, middle, and window seats will have different columns, I’ll read those too. And then, when I’m trying to relax, I’ll end up reading them again. I just can’t stop reading if something is in front of me, and that’s going to be really annoying. If I really wanted to read Business Week, I’d get a copy myself.

I understand the appeal to the advertisers. It’s a captive audience that now won’t even have to open a magazine to see the content. That’s a strong selling point, but not for the guy stuck on the plane. Think they’ll include some advertorials on there as well?

And what’s next? Digital media that keeps changing every few minutes? Maybe my tray table will start talking to me? Hmm, I’ll have to remember to keep my knives off the table . . . who knows what it’ll be capable of soon.

Remember my post about the billboard war in India? Looks like Jet and Kingfisher aren’t the only ones who want to play. Check out GoAir’s attempt at joining the party.

Edit 5/7 1217p: Ok, so I’ve had an email or two suggesting that the picture was photoshopped, and they’re probably right. The lighting on the GoAir billboard looks a bit suspect, but who cares. It’s still pretty cool. That being said, I’m fairly sure Kingfisher’s response is real. Can anyone confirm?