Tom Cruise, Other Aliens Targeted by American’s New Roswell – LA Flights

Did anyone else catch the press release yesterday announcing that American was starting nonstop service from LAX to Roswell, New Mexico? Yeah, I didn’t think so. This seems like a route that is guaranteed to fail, right? Not so fast.American Starts LA Roswell Flights There’s a lot of traffic going between LA and the UFO-capital of the US.

Just think about it. How many aliens are there living in LA? I mean, we all know that Tom Cruise is an alien, but there are plenty more. Clearly as we learned in Men in Black, there are many other celebrity aliens who call Hollywood home as well. And it’s not just Hollywood. Ever been to Venice Beach on a weekend? Yeah, they’re all aliens too. When you add in connecting opportunites from places like San Francisco (Robin Williams, aka Mork, should be the spokesperson for this flight) and Vegas (Steve Wynn can’t be human), then you’ve got more than enough demand.

They all have to go visit the mother ship from time to time, you know.

I know what you’re thinking. Aren’t those celebrities just going to take their private jets over to Roswell? Oh no. They want to keep a low profile when heading to their masters, so flying commercial is the way to go. Besides, rumors are that American CEO Gerard Arpey is from the planet Oblivion, so he’s more than happy to donate some aircraft time for the cause.

They better just hope that these aliens actually take advantage of this service, because if they don’t, there’s not going to be anyone onboard.

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