It seems like airlines all around the world are racing to allow passengers to check in for flights using only a mobile phone. I wrote about Air Canada rolling it out last year, and lately both Continental and Delta have put out tests of their own. Delta just put out a blog post on their test as well. It sounds great in theory, but you might want to think twice about it if earning miles is really important to you.

Fellow airline geek and aviation consultant Roy Rosales brought up a good point in an email yesterday. If for some reason miles don’t get credited to your account, you usually have to send in your boarding pass for credit. If you use your cell phone . . . there is no paper boarding pass to send.

In Roy’s case, he flew on a Hawaiian Airlines flight and expected to get Continental miles. They never showed up, and he called Continental to see what happened. Roy was told that an original boarding pass was required in order to get credit. He was curious so he asked what would happen if he had checked-in online and the airline kept the boarding pass, as some do. The agent said it didn’t matter – no pass, no credit.

So, until the airlines decide to somehow alter those policies and email you a PDF that can be used for redemption, you might want to consider keeping a paper record, especially if you’re flying on one airline and trying to earn miles on another.

You likely won’t be surprised to hear that I had a great time at the bachelor party this weekend, but that means I had very little time to write. So, since every travel blogger on earth has written about the announcement that Continental will be leaving SkyTeam, joining Star Alliance, and instituting a very tight partnership with United, I thought I’d just point to a couple of the more interesting posts I’ve seen.

Make no mistake, this is more than just a codeshare and frequent flier mile deal. Continental will join United, Lufthansa, and Air Canada in a joint venture for all transatlantic flying. Latin and Asia joint ventures will be developed as well. There will be broad systems integration as well.

In terms of routes, the rest of the Star Alliance will be happy to finally have a big international presence in New York. Dan Webb takes a look at route compatibility here.

If you’re a member of United’s Mileage Plus or Continental’s OnePass programs, this will certainly mean changes. Take a look at View From the Wing’s effort to breakdown what this may mean, despite the fact that we have very few details so far. His take? Well, it’ll be a good thing for Continental fliers, but it’s a little less clear for United loyalists.

We don’t know what this will mean for US Airways right now. Is three a crowd when it comes to the Star Alliance in the US? They say they aren’t going anywhere, but they also haven’t had talks with Continental about cooperation either. Could they partner with American now that CO/UA and DL/NW are getting together? Maybe. Or maybe they’ll try a different tactic, as Holly suggests here in PlaneBuzz.

For American fliers, this could be decent news as well. Strange, I know, but it could theoretically mean that getting antitrust immunity with British Airways would become easier, as Terri Maxon discusses on the Airline Biz blog.

There are a lot of different angles to this partnership with a ton of potential ramifications throughout the industry when it develops. I’ll keep you posted as I learn more.

I’m going to be nowhere near the internet today, and actually I’m probably sleeping right now. Why, you ask? Well this weekend is my bachelor party, and things kicked off last night. Of course, I didn’t want to leave you without anything today, so I’ve got a great guest post for you from Tony France, The Traveling Optimist.

I hope you enjoy the read, and I’ll approve any comments that need to be approved when I get back on Sunday.

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In the earliest days of air travel the skies were the purview of the rich and the foolhardy. The train was the chic, convenient and classy way to travel, all in one. It stayed on the ground, traveled at speeds the human mind could understand and the Pullman services, since they had all week to reach New York, Chicago or Boston, were second to none. Crisp linens, sumptuous meals, porter service for every whim.

C. R. Smith in 1934 wanted some of that Pullman business for his fledgling American Airlines and called up Donald Douglas about an airplane that could convert to the first sleeper seats for overnight service. Thus with a phone call arose the DC-3. Needing an edge of its own, TWA made a phone call to Boeing about something larger and faster with the first pressurized cabin, the Stratoliner. After the Second World War the even larger Stratocruiser gave us private lounges reached by the first circular staircase to an alternate level on a double-deck airliner. These three silver birds would be combined in to one almighty aircraft, again, seemingly out of little more than a phone call between Juan Trippe at Pan Am and Bill Allen at Boeing:

“If I buy it will you build it?”

“If I build it will you buy it??”

All hail the 747, the first wide-body and featuring a First Class cabin (nose configuration) that arguably remains unsurpassed to this day.

Right up to the mid- and late-eighties the seat in First Class was never more than a large Barcalounger, wide enough for fat-cat hips with a deep enough recline to attempt some sleep on a flight rarely more than 10 hours in length. It was the food as well as the human touch that made First Class what it was.

I joined American in 1986 as a “B-Scale” baggage handler for American Airlines in 1987, thankful to have a job. My first vacation as a nonrev traveler was to Paris the following April to visit a friend from college. I was lucky enough to get a seat in First Class on the redoubtable “AA-#48” and what happened over the next eight hours lingers blissfully on my mind to this very day.

Leather and lambs’ wool covered the seat, American’s signature upholstery at the time. After take-off, the 767-200 we flew was transformed in to a Michelin rated restaurant. Linen carts to set the table, each set piece hand presented as if setting the stage for a magnificent culinary performance. Drink orders were taken and returned with the ubiquitous warm mixed nut offering. An appetizer followed – salmon in dill with capers and hard breads. A crust scraper was deftly deployed after every course.

The full caviar service was a first for me and it came with gracious assistance and a knowing smile from the flight attendant on how to prepare the treat to my liking since I’d never done it before! She enjoyed sharing in my first experience as much as I was enjoying sampling a world far beyond my means and imagination at the time. The salad cart followed, generously tossed with flourish and cracked pepper while we were somewhere over Tennessee.

“Sorbet?” “Don’t you mean sherbert?” The flight attendant chuckled softly as I contemplated another first, sorbet, of the grapefruit variety. I just stared at this unheard of frozen concoction and tiny little spoon in a fluted glass. “Savor it, let it linger so it will cleanse the palate,” my flight attendant advised. Wow, all this just to prepare for the main course? Was this only because we were flying to Paris, a local market thing, or was this on every long haul international flight American operated? Heck, what were the other airlines doing compared to this?

The main course followed, an exquisite filet in Madeira wine, followed by coffee or tea. Next came a cheeseboard with at least six varieties of English, Dutch and French cheeses along with grapes and accompanying port wines but the meal was hardly finished. The dessert cart appeared, offering something fancy and something simple; I settled for the simple – vanilla and chocolate ice cream with hot fudge and whipped cream. Aperitifs appeared to finish it all off, all traces of an elaborate production removed and I was left in the dark with a single glass of water, fantasy over, back to reality. I looked out the window at Cape Cod drifting into the indigo night behind me, open ocean, about three hours of sleep and Paris ahead of me.

Two hours before landing and the onboard crew is at it again. Hand set trays of linens and silver, hot towels and orange juice, warm croissants to start. A yogurt service was followed by a choice of cold cereals or a “Dutch” breakfast of breads and cold meats with butter and select jams. I’m well tucked in to my Euro-food when my flight attendant stops by and asks how I would like my eggs cooked. A small dribble of milk runs down my bulging cheek as my bewilderment takes in the question put to me.

“Uh, scrambled, please?”

Fresh, scrambled eggs, breakfast meats and potatoes with onions and peppers are placed before me with another flight attendant right behind pouring out yet another cup of tea to wash it all down. Amazing! No sorbet this time, but fresh fruit to take the garlic edge off and then, the telltale droning from outside the window. The engines were idling down, announcing we are beginning our vectors to land. One last glass of ice water, the immigration landing card, all window shades up and my Michelin rated restaurant was for the second time merely a cabin in a plane as if nothing special at all had happened. Rather, something special had indeed just happened and to probably the most impressionable passenger on board that night.

Rumblings were beginning even then, however, that the glamour was going out of air travel as carriers struggled to re-invent themselves. Bitter labor fights over B-scale wages, seriously fuel hungry fleets of 707s, 727s, dying airlines and the rise of fortress hubs dominated the headlines. The bottom line was coming in to ever sharper focus as airline realities changed from high-end travel options to complex economic engines where costs and profits were measured in pennies per mile. The big picture visionaries with outsized personalities who kept one eye on the future and did business with a handshake were slowly, inevitably replaced with Ivy League micro-managers who knew only P&L and ROI. Atmosphere is not quantifiable ergo luxury inevitably loses out to utility and optimization. Glamour, even my first fleeting taste of it, wasn’t to remain on the scene for much longer.

The caviar went first, a victim of conservationist activities as well as the most obvious “waste” on board the plane. One by one, everything almost down to the steak itself was removed and cost cut. Fresh eggs died an omelette with red sauce death long ago. Today’s premium passengers are essentially left to feel lucky they receive a meal at all. The entrees have become “lighter, healthier” and cheaper. The carved roasts and Maine lobsters are all in your dreams if you’re old enough to remember them at all.

Today’s First Class is not about the food at all; Robert Crandall himself once said as much. It’s the seat. As flights have gotten longer and markets more competitive it is the onboard hardware, a combination of a Borg energy pod and a spa cubicle that allegedly drives the customer’s decision. Like both of these entities, however, regardless of all the push-button gadgetry, the seat is neutral, impersonal and designed for isolation (except the double bed on Virgin Atlantic). Comfy but cold.

After the AirMap some airlines boast 600 titles of films, shows, music and games via “on demand” entertainment technology. What a waste. I used to think my own personal library of 1800 CDs and 600 DVDs was impressive until some of my more savvy friends corrected me. The iPod and the laptop each obviate the need for massive onboard libraries. Savvy, techie, family and busy travelers alike will have all they need with them in their own unedited hard drives so long as they can access onboard power.

The cabin real estate and cost to the airlines for these contraptions explains retail fares surpassing $12,000 one way (Qantas.com, LA to Sydney, First Class). Whether or not anyone actually pays that much, I feel the airlines have missed the point of what true First Class was, should and could be – the seat, the atmosphere and the food, in balance, to create the world discerning passengers want and airlines need to truly distinguish themselves. For $800/hour, at least Qantas brought back the caviar!

So keep all the movies and shows, fellas, my laptop screen offers a larger and better picture. Better yet, send that huge library of stuff back to the masses in coach since they don’t have onboard power but for the most part have individual screens. Do something with the walls other than the usual mood-neutral blues and beiges. How about a world mural, like TWA used to have, or commemorative artwork like Pan Am once gave away? Could Botticelli’s “Birth of Venus” as a bulkhead piece help turn Alitalia around? Italian art, Italian food and hospitality, Italian wines and leathers? How could they go wrong? But I digress – at least it would be something, anything, to evoke the old romance and glamour of flying, of discovering new destinations, even if the guy in Seat 1K is a million-miler who has seen it all before.

Bring back the food, plain and simple. It’s been 21 years and numerous premium cabin experiences since that first time on American, but give me the complete experience I had again on that first, First Class flight to Paris. Carpeted walls textured the cabin and each course was a sequence of events in a grand adventure expertly guided by an inflight crew that exuded pride in their role while being willing to initiate the neophyte through the finer points of their rarefied world.

With their reputation for engineering, I can well believe that, back in the day, Lufthansa had better seats but it was a no-brainer that Air France had better food! Thanks to mergers and acquisitions, economics and alliances, the unique touches once offered in the front cabins of the flag carriers of the world seem all to have sadly gone to ground with the great luminaries who created the great planes that introduced them all to begin with. Varig, I barely knew ye.

Shampag-knee, anyone?

Looks like United has given in and agreed to modify its Palmdale flying schedule. Beginning in September, instead of two daily CRJs to SFO, there will be four daily Brasilias, the 30 seat turboprop that United has slowly been phasing out. Anyone want to bet that this will work? Anyone? Bueller?

If you read my post earlier this month on the subject, you’ll know that I’ve been critical of LAWA’s efforts to pour time and money into Palmdale. And if you haven’t read the comments section, I’d highly recommend it. I apparently hit quite a nerve with someone doing work for LAWA, and it’s an entertaining read to say the least.

But my position hasn’t changed. I still don’t see this working right now. Let’s look at the fundamentals. Palmdale is in the heart of the Antelope Valley, an area that has seen rapid growth over the years because of its relatively affordable housing. But guess what? It’s an exurb, and those distant communities are taking the biggest hit in the current economic downturn. If you’d like to do a little reading, you can see this article from the LA Times in April 2007. Things have only gotten worse since then.

So it’s a probable that Palmdale alone isn’t going to be supporting major flights. There has been an effort to get people from the Santa Clarita area, the next major popular center, to use the airport by establishing bus service. Now if you don’t know where that is, it doesn’t really matter, but you can see it on the map at left. What matters is that it’s about 20 miles further to go from Santa Clarita to Palmdale than it is to go to Burbank. Even with the traffic, why would you go to Palmdale from there?

You wouldn’t. If you want to go to the Bay Area, you can fly Southwest or United from Burbank for less money and on more frequent flights than out of Palmdale. And it’s not like we’re talking LAX here. Burbank is a nice, small, and easy airport to navigate.

So can service work in Palmdale? Eventually. However, I don’t think San Francisco is going to be sustainable for a long, long time, even with more frequency. My guess is that any sustainable service at all is a few years off still at best. That’s why LAWA, the federal government, and others have had to pour $4.6m into this new service just to see if it can work. So far, the results haven’t been good.

Admittedly, the schedule will greatly improve with these new flights. Instead of northbound departures at only 6a and 11a, there will now be flights at 6a, 1015a, 1220p, and 645p. And instead of southbound flights at only 918a and 925p, there will be flights at 830a, 1035a, 5p, and 1020p. That being said, the flights will now take 18 to 33% longer on the northbound flight in the slow Brasilias. Block time increases from 1h9m to 1h32m northbound and from 1h13m to 1h26m southbound. That gives the Santa Clarita residents yet another reason to drive to Burbank.

I just have to wonder why United has decided to honor this request. They must still have a bunch of Brasilias under contract that are sitting around in the desert somewhere so they figured they’d give it a shot. All I know is that in May, the airline filled 42% of its seats. That means 42 out of the 100 seats flown each way per day were filled on average. Now there will be 120 seats in the market, and even if you can stimulate traffic by 50% because of this new glorious schedule, you’ll still only have a 52.5% seat factor. That seems quite optimistic to me, and it’s not going to cut it unless you’re getting some fairly incredible fares.

You can bet I’ll be keeping an eye on this one as time goes by. I’m heading out of town this afternoon and won’t have email access again until Sunday, so please write comments and I will approve them (if necessary) when I return.

Stay with me here. Michael O’Leary, Ryanair’s fearless leader and king of publicity, has announced his plans for a transatlantic airline. And yes, it will apparently include blowjobs.

His plan? A bunch of economy class seats that will sell for 10 euros or something really cheap like that as well as a business class that’ll run you 4,000 to 5,000 euros. Why would you pay that much? “Beds and blowjobs.” Now THAT’s a value proposition. Don’t believe me? Watch for yourself (sorry, but the video is blowjob free):

I’m actually surprised that he gets that you need to have a premium cabin to make this work, but it’s his spin on the product that makes this blogworthy. Will it happen? Probably not, but he’ll get all kinds of people to write about it. Heck who knows if he’ll ever get this thing off the ground at all, but who cares? Just watching his translator squirm is worth the post.