I had hoped to have a trip report ready to go today, but I think it may require the weekend before that’s ready. So instead, let’s talk about United’s promise to deep clean their planes more often. That promise back in August said it would happen over the course of 2007, but after my fiancee’s experience yesterday, I think they need to work on their basic cleaning techniques first.

Her flight was delayed yesterday due to what appeared to be aircraft availability issues. They ended up using a plane that came from Chicago that, while arriving on time, still got to the gate only nine minutes before the scheduled Orlando departure. They tried to get things moving and they even boarded first class while they held off on coach so that the “cleaners could finish onboard.” Ok, sounds good.

So imagine her surprise when she saw this:

Yup, that’s a dinner roll wedged between the armrest and the side of the plane. Really, this brings so many questions to mind.

Why did these so-called “cleaners” not remove the dinner roll?

How long has that thing been there?

Regardless, if it hasn’t touched the ground, does the 7 second rule still apply or is it still fair game?

Why would someone even put the dinner roll there in the first place? Trying to save some for later?

More importantly, where the heck did they find a dinner roll and how can we get one on our next United flight?

As if that’s not enough, she said there was an unidentified brown substance smeared on the ceiling. Now that’s classy.

Thanks to foreign ownership restrictions and political spats, we don’t quite have a marriage here, but Delta and Air France have decided to take one step closer with a joint venture for all flying across the Pond as well as LAX-Tahiti.

Though I don’t know the full details, I think this goes beyond the Lufthansa/United revenue sharing pact and is probably closer to the more robust Northwest/KLM deal. Basically, they pool all the money they make on transatlantic flights and split it up between them. They’re also going to split costs of the operation, so there’s no incentive for Delta to have someone fly on a Delta aircraft instead of an Air France aircraft. Each airline gets equal benefits and that’s good news for travelers.

See, Delta won’t try to push you on their flights now even if an Air France codeshare suits you better. Now they should present all options equally and that’s good news. Don’t expect things to change overnight, though. The first phase next April is pretty limited. It only is in effect for flights between the airline’s hubs and flights from London/Heathrow to the US. Everything else comes into effect by 2010.

So why is Heathrow included in the first round? Open skies, of course. A joint venture like this opens up new flying opportunities, and Heathrow is a prime example. Air France has slots at the jam-packed airport right now, but they use them for flights over to Paris. That might be ok for connecting opportunities, but now with a US partner, Air France can make a lot more money using those slots for Transatlantic flights. In fact, they’ll be launching a flight in the already crowded London/Heathrow to LAX market and they’ll give three slots to Delta so they can fly twice daily from JFK and once from Atlanta.

Unfortunately, Air France isn’t exactly giving Delta the best slots around. Flights times aren’t great. JFK will have one departure in the morning for a daylight flight and the other not until 9p. The ATL departure is even worse – it doesn’t leave until 11p. Despite the times, I imagine it will still perform pretty well for them.

And those aren’t the only flights getting started here. Delta will also be going deeper into France now with flights from JFK to Lyon and to Paris/Orly, the airport to the south of Paris (CDG is north). These will be operated with 757s, so they’re throwing just the right amount of capacity in there.

Until cross-border mergers are allowed, this is going to be the best way to create a global network. Buried in the press release, it’s noted that if they are given anti-trust immunity with Northwest and KLM as well, all four would combine their operations into one huge transatlantic market. That would presumably point to a DL-NW merger here in the US, though that’s obviously just speculation. I imagine we’ll keep seeing more of this as airlines consolidate around the three major alliances.

That means that oneworld will align around American in the US and British Airways in Europe. Star Alliance will align around United (and maybe US Airways) in the US and Lufthansa in Europe. Meanwhile, SkyTeam is aligning around Delta/Northwest in the US (Continental sits on the fence) and Air France/KLM in Europe.

For now, this step is good news for Delta and Air France loyalists. It should open up more opportunities for them all around.

I mentioned last month that Air Canada had began allowing customers to check-in using their mobile phone. (Sadly it didn’t work for me, but that’ll be in my trip report later on.) Now, IATA has come out with a standard barcode that will be used on all paper boarding passes as well as mobile phones. Here is what the boarding pass would look like:

I know – one of the most exciting pictures you’ve ever seen, right? Yeah, right. But as long as this bar code is displayed on your mobile phone, you’ll eventually be able to check in for any airline from your phone.

Right now, there are three barcodes that are used in different parts of the world. You can liken that to the fight between HD-DVD and BlueRay. Nobody knows which one to buy because we don’t know which one will survive. Well, with the new standard determined, that means that airlines and airports can start developing their applications without fear that they’ll become obsolete.

IATA wants to have a bar code on every boarding pass by 2010, but of course that doesn’t mean everyone will have mobile check-in by then. It just makes it more likely.

UPDATE 10/17 @ 755a: Ok, so I guess I was wrong here. The boarding pass barcode standard came out 2 years ago. They’ve just now decided on the mobile standard, so I guess my picture is wrong. Oops!

I know, I know, I’m back early. Actually, I’m still in the UK until tomorrow, but I have some free time and an internet connection, and I just can’t stay away for too long. So I don’t know if I’ll be back on the normal schedule just yet, but that will happen soon. I’ll also have a nice long trip report for you later this week or early the next.

But today I’d like to catch up on something that Delta rolled out last Wednesday: their new seats with in-seat video on the 737-800s.

Now this is the same seat they have on a good chunk of their 757s already. Like the 757 fleet, only some of the 737-800s will actually have the new interior, 28 out of 71 to be precise. And even those 28 won’t be done until May of next year, so it may be hard to find for awhile. And that brings us to the big question . . . how do you make sure you’re getting a plane with the new screens?

Unfortunately, Delta has decided to make it harder for you to figure this out when it comes to the 757. While before they used to have the “752″ code for airplanes with the new interior, it seems that they’ve now stolen that code to show if you’re on an international 757 with the new BusinessElite product or not (no difference in coach). If you’re flying domestically, the aircraft code no longer helps you. Fortunately, the seat maps are still different, even though the code is the same. If you pull up a seat map and coach starts with seats in row 20 and ends at row 45, you’re on an old interior plane. If it goes from row 18 to row 44, you’re on a new interior plane.

For the 737, it’s much easier for now. They’ve assigned the code “73H” for the new interiors and kept “738″ for the old ones. The 73H is supposed to be used for 737-800s with winglets, and they’re also installing winglets on those planes. So, could it happen that there’s a 73H that doesn’t have the new interior? Quite possibly, though I don’t know how they’re handling it internally. Your best bet is to default back to the seat map. On an old interior 737, coach ends with row 32 but on a new one, it ends with row 33. So as long as you see row 33 on the seat map, you’ll be on a plane with the new interiors (unless they swap it later, of course).

Really, the biggest problem here is that you have to go to these great lengths to find out what is going on. Most people either won’t do it or don’t know they can do it, and so I think Delta is bound to have lots of unhappy customers.

As much as I love writing Cranky every day, it’s time for a break. Actually, it’s a wedding break. First up is a wedding in Canada this weekend and then one in France next weekend (the couple that actually encouraged me to start blogging in the first place). So, I’ll be on the road for the next week and a half and that means I probably won’t be posting much if at all. I’ll try to check in a couple of times while I’m gone, but I can’t guarantee it.

Your usual daily Cranky-ness will return on October 17 or 18. Talk to you then . . .